Office of Family Services Is Ready to Listen

By Linda Busetti
HERALD Staff Writer
(From the issue of 11/01/01)

In a world where the simple arrival of mail can cause anxiety, the diocesan Catholic Charities Office of Family Services offers individual, family, marital and grief counseling as well as ongoing support programs for parents and young adults.

Dave Cavanaugh, program director of Family Services since 1984, said that Catholic Charities is following up on services provided in response to Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. A Grief and the Holidays Workshop will be presented by Mila Ruiz Tecala on Dec. 1 from 10 a.m. to noon at Our Lady of Good Counsel Church in Vienna. The free program will focus on how to make the holiday season bearable for people who are grieving. A light lunch will be served, followed by individual and group consultation from noon to 1:30 p.m.

Although most clients served at the 3838 Cathedral Lane office in Arlington are Catholic, anyone is welcome to use the counseling services. Calls to the office are kept confidential. Day or evening appointments are made with one of the six fulltime or 24 part-time counselors at either the Arlington or Burke (5284 Lyngate Ct.) office. Clients are asked to define goals for themselves. "The process does involve work," Cavanaugh said. "Real healing can come through counseling and the therapist can be an extension of God’s grace," he said.

A clinician, Alexandra Frerotte, works almost fulltime out of All Saints Parish in Manassas as a joint outreach by Catholic Charities and the parish.

Family Services maintains just under 300 active cases and totals approximately 450-500 counseling hours per month, according to Cavanaugh.

When Cavanaugh, of St. Mary Parish in Alexandria, began as program director, there were four fulltime and four part-time staff. He has enjoyed developing a relationship with the parishes and the Chancery. Information about Family Services programs is communicated through a parish liaison network, Cavanaugh said. Announcements are also placed in parish bulletins or disseminated by direct mail or fliers. Family Services also receives referrals from the Tribunal in cases where permission to remarry is contingent upon a person’s receiving counseling.

"In the early 1980s, 50 percent of marriages ended in divorce. In the past 10 or 12 years, there has been more research done on the long-term effects of divorce on children," Cavanaugh said. "The mental health community takes a much more careful look at divorce than it used to. We try to provide alternative remedies for separation and divorce. We have a consultant who has been engaged from time to time to provide conflict resolution strategies," he said.

"For about 13-14 years we have begun to recognize the support that is needed by separated and divorced Catholics. We’ve offered a Separation and Divorce Conference, which is usually offered in the fall, although it was not offered this year," he said.

Linda Zegley, of Family Services and guidance counselor at Our Lady of Good Counsel School in Vienna, will present an eight-week Cooperative Parenting and Divorce Program in the spring that "will help folks who are in the process of separation and divorce to recognize how this can impact children," Cavanaugh said.

Beginning Nov. 19, the Coping with Separation and Divorce Group will meet on Mondays from 7-8:30 p.m. for 12 sessions in the Arlington office. The group is open to anyone in either the early or later stages of separation or divorce that is looking for support toward healing and growth. Pre-registration is required.

The Twenty/Thirty Something Group is an ongoing therapy group for young men and women. They discuss relationship issues and the challenges of young adulthood. The group meets for 12 sessions on Thursdays from 7-8:30 p.m. at the Cathedral Lane office.

This fall Mary Ann Wall of Catholic Charities offered a nationally recognized program, Systemic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP), which presents practical parenting principles and explores alternative solutions to many parenting problems. The program met one evening for seven consecutive weeks at both St. Mary of Sorrows Parish in Fairfax and the Cathedral School of St. Thomas More in Arlington.

Cavanaugh said he sees the office of Family Services as "agents of God’s grace." "We are here as extensions of the Church and the Church’s mission," he said.

For information on the Grief and Holiday Workshop or to register call 703/841-3833 or go to www.ccda.net. Contact Katherine Murrie at 703/841-2531 for information on the Twenty/Thirty Something Group. Contact Pat Cole at 703/841-2531, ext. 28, to register for the Coping with Separation and Divorce Group. For information on STEP, contact Mary Ann Wall or Ken Telesca in the Burke office of Catholic Charities, 703/503-7821. ext. 10 or 21 respectively.

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