Fitzpatrick Family: Full of Faith, Love

By Mary McCarthy
Herald Staff Writer
(From the issue of 4/17/03)

For the last 55 years, Theda Fitzpatrick has been attending Mass with her husband John, but all these years, she’s been "sitting on the sidelines."

This Easter, Theda, at age 74, will finally join the Church she has attended with her husband for so long.

John, 76 years old, is a "cradle Catholic." His family is originally from Washington, and as a child his father would inspect him and his two brothers before Mass every Sunday to make sure they were properly cleaned and dressed.

Theda was raised in Prestonsburg, Ky., in a family that was very active in the Presbyterian Church. She moved in with her aunt and grandparents in Falls Church in 1944 to attend high school.

The couple met in Falls Church in 1944. John was a member of the Falls Church Volunteer Fire Department and they played softball on the weekends. There wasn’t much else to do in Falls Church in the 1940s, so Theda often attended their games.

One weekend, John asked his friends, "Who’s that blonde sitting over there?" That was the beginning of their four-year courtship.

The couple was married at St. James Church in Falls Church in 1948 by Father Edward Vincent Mullarkey. Theda described Father Mullarkey as "a typical Irishman, a gentle bear." John said Father Mullarkey told him, "Whatever you do, don’t force your wife to be Catholic."

The Fitzpatricks were the first Catholic/non-Catholic couple to be married inside St. James Church.

Once she was married, she no longer attended a Presbyterian Church because, "It was easier to go to church as a family."

When Mass began to change in the 1960s as a result of the Second Vatican Council, John said Theda knew more about, and understood the changes better than he did. Theda was always interested in the Mass and learning more about what was done and why it was done.

The Fitzpatricks’ son, David, was baptized in the Catholic Church. He and his wife, Lourdes, have raised their two daughters, Ana and Lauren, in the Church as well.

Theda’s granddaughter Ana would ask her why she wasn’t Catholic like the rest of the family.

While the family, including Theda’s sister-in-law, Elaine, have never pressured her to join the Church, Theda said, "they practice their religion in their daily lives, and that’s been an inspiration."

In has only been in the last couple of years that Theda began to yearn to join the Church. "After 9/11 I needed more in my life. I needed to be a part of a community. I found that at Queen of Peace Parish."

John said that the friendly atmosphere at Queen of Peace has made it easier for his wife to feel like she is joining a family. He said Father Leonard Tuozzolo, pastor, remembers the parishioners by name every Sunday. "The RCIA group has been absolutely marvelous," he said. "They have taken our hands and said ‘Welcome.’"

Elaine has been attending the instruction also and added, "They made the instructions so much a part of you."

John is acting as Theda’s sponsor as she enters the Church this weekend. Theda says their marriage has lasted so long because of "trust, and being good friends, even though I do crack the whip."

She said when she watches Dr. Phil on TV she can’t help but wonder about the people seeking help, "Oh my heavens, how did you get married?" She said one person can’t make a marriage work.

The couple has remained very active since both of them have retired. They go to McDonald’s each morning to "solve the problems of the world" with other couples. A few years ago they decided that it wasn’t good enough to see their friends at the occasional funeral, so the group created the "Lunch Bunch" and meet once a month anywhere between Falls Church and Winchester to eat lunch and socialize.

Theda recently went on her first retreat to Missionhurst in Arlington. She said it was the first time she’s been away where there was no phone or television.

She was asked to say a prayer before lunch, and was nervous because she had nothing prepared, "but the words came out of nowhere, I opened my mouth and they just came out."

The retreat, and the experience of RCIA, have been a turning point in Theda’s life. While she attended Mass with her husband every week for 55 years, each week she remained seated while everyone around her received the Eucharist. She said this experience was like "sitting on the sidelines of a ball game, but not being able to play."

She said she now feels like she is ending one journey and beginning another, but "this time, it will be as a member of the Catholic Faith, not as an onlooker."

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