PVI Students Discuss Stress

By Mary McCarthy
Herald Staff Writer
(From the issue of 4/24/03)

High school alone can be a very stressful time; but add the threat of terrorist attacks, a series of sniper shootings, missing a dozen days of school because of snow, family members being sent to war and a beloved coach or parent dying to the pressure to make good grades and get into the right college; and adolescence becomes almost unbearable.

The students at Paul VI Catholic High School in Fairfax are working to deal better with stress. By talking about their own stressful situations, and encouraging other students to come to them, or find a trusted teacher or counselor, the students are banding together as a community to help each other.

"Stress Busters" was created by Junior Roya Mogadam after she lost a close friend in a car accident. After she found comfort in her family and the guidance department at school, she approached Denyse Kline, campus minister, about forming a group for students to share their stress and frustrations.

"You deserve to have someone help you," Mogadam said at an assembly she organized. "No one should feel alone."

The assembly organized by Mogadam took place on April 17 during first period. The entire student body of the school attended to hear seven students, including Mogadam, describe their situations.

Denyse Kline explained that the assembly "was not to bring bad news," but to address the building stress in the school and to "put it in perspective in a faith community."

Within the last several weeks, two Paul VI parents and the assistant boys’ basketball coach have died. Coach Gregory Wright died unexpectedly when a tree fell on him in his yard. His death "really changed a lot of the kids," said math teacher Beth McIntyre. "They grew up instantly."

Paul VI Principal Philip Robey described Wright as "a real gentleman." He said the basketball teams were devastated to hear of his death.

Sophomore Nick Schierer has experienced the deaths of four loved ones over the last three years. His godfather died when he was in the eighth-grade, and soon after his father entered the hospital with cancer, and died less than a month later. On the first anniversary of his father’s death, his uncle passed away, and only two months ago, he lost his great-uncle.

Schierer’s life has been more stressful because with each death "I’ve felt a part of me inside was ripped away. I can’t get over one death, because another one occurs."

Schierer has found comfort in his faith. "Through my grieving, I have grown closer to God," he said.

Senior Justin Woodward also lost a loved one recently. His mother committed suicide in March. Woodward attended school the day after his mother died because he needed to see his friends and feel their support.

"We don’t want sympathy or pity, we just want you to be there for us," Woodward said to his peers.

Senior Adriana Brazelton doesn’t often talk about the death of her mother, but agreed to share her experiences for the assembly. Her mother died when Adriana was 14, and she was left as the mother-figure to her two younger sisters and as her father’s "right hand." Brazelton found that her biggest support was her friends.

While not all high school students are faced with the death of a loved one, the stress of college applications can upset even the brightest students. Senior Steve Grodek talked about how to avoid some of this stress by researching and applying to schools early and encouraged students to keep in mind that their parents, while attempting to encourage them, may not realize they are adding stress. Grodek asked every student to find at least one person they can talk to about whatever stress they have in their lives.

Sophomore sisters Megan and Ashley Bunce worry about their brother who they haven’t heard from in over a month. Their brother is stationed overseas, and even though their father is a member of the Air Force and they grew up in a military family, Megan said, "war didn’t come close to home until now."

While they have been bombarded with the images of war every night on television, they can’t help but wonder and worry about where their brother is and how he is doing.

Although many of these situations are very different, and it might seem hard to compare the death of a loved one to the stress of getting into college, most students at Paul VI are experiencing stress in some form.

"Whatever situation you’re dealt, it is what you make of it that counts," said Ashley Bunce.

Kline is encouraging the students at Paul VI to help each other through the rest of the year.

"Even though you’re halfway out the door, the only way you’ll make it is to hang together," she said.

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