Special to the Herald
(From the issue of 10/9/03)

It is Saturday morning. The coffee is brewing, the doughnuts and bagels are laid out. Families filter in to the registration tables set up in the front lobby of Paul VI High School. Two teenage girls, obviously relieved at each other’s presence, confide in one another:

"Gosh, I’m so glad to see you! Did your parents make you come, too?"

"Yeah, I can’t believe my parents forced me to be here."

So began the first "Parents and Their Teens Conference" sponsored by the Diocesan Office of Youth Ministry. The reluctance of teenage sons and daughters to attend an all-day conference with their parents is not remarkable. What is remarkable is that 60 families from all over the diocese thought it was an important enough event to come anyway — despite their hesitant teenagers.

Why is the Office of Youth Ministry offering events involving parents and aimed at strengthening the bonds of family?

"We know that young people are not formed in a vacuum," said Kevin Bohli, director of the Youth Office. "Whether they will admit it to their parents or not, children are most influenced by their life at home. Parenting is a huge responsibility. We want to do all we can to support parents in equipping their children for success."

The conference combined speakers, reflections, and family sharing geared at the specific needs of teenagers and their parents. Parents listened to a program called "Understanding Your Teenager" presented by Jim Green. Green is a veteran in youth ministry, director of mentoring for the Orlando Juvenile Justice System, and father of three grown children. His talk included pointers for communication with teenagers, insights to help parents understand why teenagers may respond the way they often do and a message of encouragement.

From a psychological, sociological and spiritual point of view, Green explained how parents need to be involved in the formation of their teen’s identity. One way to do this is by using a system of logical consequences that help teens to understand the connection between action and outcome.

Meanwhile, teenagers slowly began to open up to activities which included a discussion about family life, reflection on their responsibilities in their families and talks about the meaning of vocation in their lives. Mario Herrera shared with them the unexpected turn of events that led him through his career as model and actor to a serious discernment of the priesthood and current study of theology. Sister Mary Joshua Histing of the Daughters of St. Paul witnessed to her life as an "ordinary" teenager and the extraordinary call that she received to follow the Lord in consecrated life.

Families ate lunch together and later reunited for the hilarious comedy of the FOOLS! Catholic Improv Team. Art Bennett, director of the Alpha and Omega Clinic, brought synthesis to the day with his presentation "Following Christ as a Family." Bennett helped the families in attendance to understand that Christ is the source of all the grace needed to stay together through the hardships of family life.

After spending the day with other parents and other teens, many of whom are facing the same issues as at home, families reunited once more to communicate, make resolutions, and to pray. Arlington Bishop Paul S. Loverde showed his support for families by celebrating the closing Mass. He reflected on the gospel reading by underscoring the necessary foundation of a loving marriage for a solid family, whose mission is to guard, reveal, and communicate love.

It is early in the evening on Saturday. The families that gathered together for the day are now dispersing to their homes. A teenage boy grabs his jacket to walk out the door with his family. "Yeah," he shrugs, grinning, "I guess that wasn’t so bad after all." His mother smiles as she walks with him to the car.