By Mary Frances McCarthy
Herald Staff Writer
(From the issue of 3/25/04)

Five parents approached the principals of diocesan schools at a recent principals’ meeting to discuss ways the two groups could work better together to help students become productive, respectful and well-rounded members of society.

"Respect is a very important part of my life," said Maureen Blake, a parent of students at Aquinas School in Woodbridge and Bishop Ireton High School in Alexandria. "Society seems to be adrift in moral decay. We have to find a way to make our society more respectful. As principals, educators and parents, if we want our children to be respectful of others, let them observe our actions."

Donna Hetrick, a parent of children at Holy Cross Academy in Fredericksburg, said communication between principals and parents needs to be constant and consistent. She said principals should train parents to look for information in the same place at the same time every week. Communication is not just the giving of information, she said, but it is an exchange. Principals should help parents become more involved by welcoming their input.

Colleen Close, a parent from Holy Family School in Dale City, reiterated this sentiment. "We, the parents, need to be involved so our children can see we care about them and the school," she said.

Patsy Mangas and Mary Moore, who both have students at Paul VI Catholic High School and St. Timothy School in Chantilly, talked about how things change when children become teens. When Mangas was pregnant with her first child, she said she read six or seven books on how to prepare to have a newborn. But, once they’re teenagers, "How can we better educate ourselves and enjoy our kids?" she asked. "Our world’s changing and we’re not keeping up."

When Mangas and Moore ran into difficulties they created Mothers of Youth. The group has provided mothers in their community with a support group and tools to educate themselves. They host professional speakers and they hear from high school students themselves. More than 700 parents have become involved in this community program. "Once parents know they’re not alone they open up."

"All of us are struggling with the same things," Moore said.

While teachers and administrators work on issues at school, Moore said, "the disconnect is at home. Parents are not putting emphasis on values we teach in schools. We have to stop looking to our schools to fix our kids’ problems. We need to fix them in our families."

Moore said parents need help creating a common language between home and school and they need to hold their children more accountable for their actions.

"Don’t call teachers and blame them for bad grades," she said. In order for children to learn how to deal with obstacles, they need to experience the hard stuff, not have their parents clear their paths so that they are never challenged. "The message the kids hear is you better make good grades, not you better make a good effort," she said. "They need to hear it at home."

Mangas and Moore have proposed that the diocesan Parent Teacher Organization work with schools to create a program, similar to Mothers of Youth, to help educate parents and give them the opportunity to talk and work together.

Diocesan Superintendent of Schools Dr. Tim McNiff invited the parents to the principals’ meeting because he wanted the principals to hear directly from the parents. "I don’t think (a program) will survive at a school without the principals out there as cheerleaders. I think it will have a wonderful impact," he said. "Clearly, it’s getting my endorsement."