By Mary Frances McCarthy
Herald Staff Writer
(From the issue of 6/17/04)

"Today we begin a new chapter in protecting children," Arlington Bishop Paul S. Loverde told the 86 parish and diocesan employees, volunteers and priests who attended a VIRTUS workshop last week on the diocese’s new safe environment training. "Protecting God’s Children" was created by the National Catholic Risk Retention Group, Inc.

"Today … we gather to take another step, one that builds on our previous efforts at creating a safe environment in our diocese," Bishop Loverde said. "Today we gather to begin another stage in our ongoing effort to make the Diocese of Arlington as unfriendly a place as possible to those who would prey on the innocence of our children."

Approximately 5 to 10 percent of adult men and 20 percent of adult women have reported that they have experienced sexual abuse.

Included in the group that attended the workshop were 26 facilitators who attended the training for three days in order to return to their parishes and present the "Protecting God’s Children" workshop to Church employees and volunteers. Spanish and Vietnamese facilitators were among those trained. Sessions taught by these facilitators will replace the sexual misconduct seminars previously required for all Church personnel and volunteers. By training facilitators, the seminars will be held more often throughout the year and in more locations across the diocese.

While the diocese has provided these seminars in the past, Father Terry Specht, interim diocesan director of Child Protection, said that it was decided that they needed to be improved. "Participants in these seminars stated that while the seminars adequately explained the diocesan policy and procedures they did not fully impress upon diocesan employees and volunteers the seriousness and consequences of child sexual abuse," he said.

In his opening reflection, Bishop Loverde thanked Jennifer Alvaro for her work with the diocese’s Child Protection and Victim Assistance office. Alvaro recently stepped down from her position, and was replaced by Father Specht, interim director, and Pat Mudd, who will serve as victim assistance coordinator.

"It is my prayer that my service in this office may assist in protecting the safety and the innocence of one of our most precious gifts, God’s children," Father Specht said.

Pat Mudd has worked in social services for Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Arlington for 31 years and will continue to work with them as she acts as victim assistance coordinator.

In his welcoming address, the bishop reminisced about 1940s Pawcatuck, Ct., where "there must have been ‘40 sets of eyes’ watching me and my friends at any given time."

The mission behind "Protecting God’s Children" is to equip adults with the tools necessary to be like those "40 sets of eyes," to always know what is going on in their children’s lives, and to act on suspicions to prevent or stop child abuse.

Paul Ashton, facilitator trainer, also used the analogy of eyes to present the safe environment program. Ashton said his Lebanese grandmother used to point to one eye and say "You see this eye? It is the brother of this one," and point to the other. While one eye says "I love you," the other says "I’m no dope." The two work together.

After the VIRTUS training "When you see something you will do something about it," Ashton said. "We are taking sin and turning it around and doing good. You will never know the good things that come about by what you’re doing."

The training videos include testimonies of victims, their families and offenders. Although the material is hard to watch, it more effectively puts faces on the issues.

The interviews with the offenders, who appear not as monsters, but as normal, average people, are particularly disturbing.

"We tend to want to turn them into monsters in our minds," said Bill Gavin, youth minister at St. Mary of Sorrows in Fairfax. Although it is hard to find forgiveness for a person who could harm a child, "We are called to minister to the perpetrators too."

"They are not men in dirty raincoats who expose themselves," Ashton said about offenders. "Evil never appears as a bag of dung. It always looks nice and sweet and tasty."

When a participant shared the story of her daughter being assaulted at a young age, Ashton said, "Don’t not talk about it. The worst thing you can do to a person who has a loss or a pain in their life is ignore it."

To protect oneself from being accused of misconduct, Ashton said, "If you don’t know how to touch appropriately in public, don’t touch people, and see someone about that." Ashton said to use common sense, to hug from the side with one arm, pat someone on the back or shoulder, or if they’re a child, pat their head. But, he warned don’t go to extremes, "Don’t not touch people. If you do that they will think you are a monster."

Ashton suggested always having adults be "two deep." In the presence of one or more children, an adult should never be alone or secluded. They should make sure there is another adult in the room, on the other side of a window, or outside an open door.

"A lot of this is common sense," Bishop Loverde said, "but we know sense is not so common these days."

"If my knowledge of Church history has taught me anything, it is that at moments of great sin and darkness throughout history, the Church has experienced the opportunity of great grace and conversion," Father Specht said. "Through our continued commitment to Protect God’s Children, may we transform the tragic examples of America’s long Lent into an example of meaningful and loving protection of all God’s children."

<head18>Five Steps to Protecting God’s Children

<body>Know the Warning Signs of an Offender — discourages parents from monitoring, wants to be alone with children, wants to be with children more than adults, gives gifts without permission, excessive touching including wrestling or tickling, thinks the rules don’t apply to them, allows children to do things their parents won’t allow, uses bad language or tells dirty jokes to children, shows children pornography.

Control Access — communicate the Church’s commitment to keeping children safe, use standard written applications, require background checks, complete face-to-face interviews, check references.

Monitor all Programs — identify secluded areas, develop policies regarding use of secluded areas, do not permit children to enter staff-only areas, only meet with children where other adults can pass by, supervisors should look in on activities, make sure enough adults are involved in programs, allow parents to observe programs, get proper approval before starting new programs.

Be Aware — talk and listen to your children, observe them, let them know they can tell you anything, teach children where their private parts are, talk to them about protecting themselves, teach your children what to do if someone tries to touch them, teach them what to do if someone makes them uncomfortable.

Communicate your concerns — talk to the person involved, their supervisor and/or a Church official; call the child abuse hotline and/or the police.