By Barbara Malinowski Clougherty
Special to the Herald
(From the issue of 4/28/05)

Women of all ages and phases of life gathered April 23 at the Fair Lakes Hyatt to attend the second Phases of Womanhood conference co-sponsored by the Arlington Diocese Office for Family Life, the Institute for the Psychological Sciences, the Alpha Omega Clinic and the Center for Family Development.

Devoting the day to an "interior makeover" to reflect on their dignity and mission as women, they listened to inspiring speakers, attended Mass and enjoyed each others’ company over a long lunch.

Keynote speaker Mary Hasson told nearly 200 attendees that "the truth about yourselves, about the meaning of life, about the truth about God, dwells deep with you."

How can women know who they are? "You can know better about whom you are and what you were created for by simply reflecting on aspects of your own physical nature," Hasson said. She then outlined four aspects that help define a woman’s identity: her face, her built-in phases of life, her emotions and her capacity for motherhood. "In order to have an integrated view of womanhood, we must see things in the proper proportion," she said.

When you look at your face in the mirror, she asked, "Do you see that you have value because you were created in the image and likeness of God?"

As for life’s phases, Hasson said, "we can no more create our phases in life than we can create life itself. In every phase, we must recognize that God is in control. He wants what is good for us, so we must trust God and surrender to what He is doing in our lives.

"God gave us such richness and intensity of emotions," she said. "That’s a gift." But she cautioned, "We must not measure reality and truth by the depth of our feelings. The depth of our emotions should not cloud our judgment. We need to love with all our heart — but with the mind and the soul as well."

Hasson referred to Pope Benedict XVI when she discussed woman’s capacity for motherhood. "Even though we are certainly not all called to physical motherhood," she explained, "God gave each of us the capacity for motherhood to remind us in a very concrete and physical way the truth about what will make us happy.

"All of us are called to be for another, for all humanity, whether you are a man, a woman or a child. This is especially true for women because we are literally built with a room for another. Every day we need to be reminded of what we were created for — our womb is literally a room for another."

She challenged the women to ask themselves: "Is my heart a heart with room for others? Am I cultivating a heart for others? Am I really giving of myself for others? We are created for others. To give of ourselves for others is the key to our fulfillment."

Hasson encouraged the women, regardless of their phase in life. "Each day remember the room God created for you, that you are created for others and that you will grow as you give of yourself to others."

Jennifer Ferrara shared her personal conversion from Lutheran pastor to Roman Catholic.

"For years I was a garden-variety feminist who believed men and women were basically the same," she said, "and so I wanted a career dominated by men. I agonized over the decision over what to become — as if my entire sense of self depended on my career choice."

As providence would have it, she fell in love and married a cradle Catholic. She continued to serve as a minister until the birth of her third child. She started to have deep reservations about her own denomination when in the fall of 1995 the governing body of the Evangelical Lutheran Council of America (ELCA) required its healthcare providers to cover costs of any and all abortions procured by ELCA employees and their dependents.

"The realization that my church was an accomplice in the murder of the unborn, God’s most innocent creatures, shattered the relative calm of my life," Ferraro said. After reading Pope John Paul II’s "Evangelium Vitae," she felt "like a person coming to terms with the death of a loved one. I realized that the leaders of my denomination had fallen captive to the culture of death, and I wanted to be a member of a church which preserved and protected life. In the end, what finally compelled me to become Catholic was the longing to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus in the Eucharist."

By the end of the day, Marie Buonforte, president of Phases of Womanhood, was optimistic about the fruits of the conference.

"My hope is that the women heard the call to embrace our faith and our femininity," she said. "We must share our unique gifts with a society that so sorely needs them. It is a message of hope — that our eyes are wide open to the beauty of womanhood."

For more information or to order any of the conference tapes, e-mail info@phasesofwomanhood.org or go to www.phasesofwomanhood.org.

Spirited Conversations Enhance Conference

Conference attendees enjoyed spirited conversations during a lengthy lunch. "This time together is as important as the talks," said Maribeth Harper. "We want to feel pampered, but we can’t neglect the spiritual side. We were challenged at lunch to discuss subjects with meaning — not just our children’s soccer schedules."

"I am a cradle Catholic," said Kathy Webb from St. Leo the Great Parish in Fairfax, "so I get a lot out of conversion stories. It always strengthens me to hear why someone chose our faith. I read lots of books, but I get much more out of hearing a speaker. I also get more out of having people here to immediately share and discuss and compare reactions and experiences."

Leona Choy converted to Catholicism at the Easter Vigil Mass last month at Sacred Heart Parish in Winchester.

"This is my first event like this," she said. "I spent a lifetime as a Protestant missionary overseas, so I could really relate to the conversion message. I studied Catholicism to prove to a newly converted friend that she was wrong. I started with the teachings of the early Church, and four years later — just before my 80th birthday — I became a Catholic."

Connie Bucko from St. Veronica Parish in Herndon said, "Bonding with other women who share your faith has been a wonderful experience. I have met many new people, not just from my parish."

Other women took the opportunity to bond with old friends.

"This is our special day together," said Ann Rowe from Williamsburg, referring to Maria Pressley, her best friend of 27 years. "My husband is my soul mate, and Maria is my best friend. We share a lot, and the Church has been a big part of our friendship. The Church seals our friendship."

"We were here last year. We looked forward to this event again, and we haven’t been disappointed," said Pressley. "Especially with the change in the Church and the new successor to John Paul II, this is the perfect time to have this day of renewal."

Meredith Simmons, a parishioner at St. Matthew Cathedral in Washington and a student at Georgetown Law School, "loved hearing a more traditional take on femininity. It is wonderful to hear a different side from what I hear every day."

Amy Ressa from St. Mark Parish in Vienna said, "I already got more than I ever thought. I had a hard week, feeling like I was not doing anything right, then the speaker [Jennifer Ferrara] said that we don’t have to be the expert at everything. That made me feel better about having to juggle so many things. I had a 20-year career and now I am feeling isolated at home with small children."

"You have preschoolers, and I have one in college, and here is a law student," interjected Mary Ellen Bagley, "but we are all in this together."

"It’s a sisterhood," agreed Amy Ressa. "I don’t know what I’d do without my sisterhood."

Charlene Unterkofler from St. Timothy Parish in Chantilly said, "I haven’t felt more proud to be Catholic in a long time. I went on a silent retreat last weekend; they elected a new pope this week, and now this conference. It makes me feel good and proud."

"Mary Hasson’s talk really hit home for me," said Robin La Fond from St. Andrew the Apostle Parish in Clifton as she patted a baby on her shoulder. "Her talk about an intimate relationship with Christ dug deep. We are all called to be holy. People say Catholics lack a personal relationship with Christ, but without it we are never going to be good wives and mothers and persons."