By Gretchen R. Crowe
Herald Staff Writer
(From the issue of 2/17/05)

For two people to get married in the Diocese of Arlington, at least six months of marriage preparation is required. Couples must attend either a Conference for the Engaged or an Engaged Encounter. A FOCCUS survey, identifying the strengths and weaknesses of the couple’s relationship, must be taken. Couples may be required to attend classes on Natural Family Planning and must meet with a priest or deacon at least four times during the six-month preparation period. Following the wedding, however, the newlyweds are left to themselves, with the hopes that the past six months of preparation in faith will carry their marriage through the rest of their lives.

Last Saturday’s Marriage Day of Enrichment, sponsored by Teams of Our Lady, a couple-focused movement that incorporates spirituality into marriage, tried to pick up where the six months of preparation leaves off.

Held at St. John Neumann Church in Reston, the day included three talks by Dr. William Roberts, professor of theology at the University of Dayton and author of several books on marriage, including Marriage: Sacrament of Hope and Challenge and Partners in Intimacy: Living the Christian Marriage Today.

According to Jim and Ruth Wagner, the newly installed Coastal Regional Couple of Teams who organized the day, Team members study Roberts’ books in their meetings.

"His books feed the format of the meeting," Ruth said.

Each of Roberts’ talks, focusing on marital intimacy, marriage as a unique calling from God and the marital journey as prayer, contributed to and developed the day’s theme: Christian Marriage: A Sacramental Journey.

Bob Laird, director of the Office for Family Life, who attended the program, said that while Teams is not connected hierarchically with the diocese, the organization "falls under the eye of the Family Life Office.

"We obviously support them. They’re doing good work. Couples have to have a time to get together spiritually," he said, adding that many couples in Teams help with diocesan-sponsored programs such as conferences for the engaged and natural family planning classes.

Ed and Edie Reinsel, parishioners at St. Mary of Sorrows Church in Fairfax, have been Team members and leaders for 28 years. Edie said the mini-retreat encourages married couples and their social interaction.

"This brings people to know one another in Northern Virginia. I find a day like this really solidifies the Team movement," she said.

"The couple that prays together stays together," said Jackie Tygielski, a member of St. Mark Parish in Vienna who has been a leading couple in Teams with her husband Ralph for 15 years. "As a Catholic Church we have not been doing a sufficient amount to promote marriage. People will come — will want something. They are looking for something spiritual. More of this needs to be done."

Mary and Robert Brown, parishioners at St. Joseph Church in Herndon, have been married for nine years. Although they are not Team members, they decided their marriage could benefit by attending the Day of Enrichment.

"We saw it in the bulletin and thought every marriage could used a little boost," said Mary.

"It’s given us some insight into marriage, its role in the Catholic Church," Robert added. "It’s more of a journey and a conscious effort to continue that journey."

Terry and Carol Williams, who will celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary this year, were urged by their daughter, a graduate of the University of Dayton and former student of Roberts, to attend the event.

"We get caught up a lot in everyday life and not attending to that spiritual side of marriage that’s very important," Terry said. "It’s an opportunity to sit down and reflect — a mini-retreat in a way."

Roberts, who has been on the lecture scene for 41 years and teaches two marriage courses several times a year, said that opportunities such as the Day of Enrichment are invaluable to married couples.

"People come who are already committed to their marriages," he said. "They come with a real thirst to deepen the spirituality of their marriage."

Arlington Bishop Paul S. Loverde joined the gathering at the end of the afternoon for brief comments and a closing blessing.

"It has been really wonderful to be here. I sensed in you a true thirst for holiness as couples and as family. The more that happens, the more this Church in Arlington will be enriched," Bishop Loverde said. "Human love is not enough for two people to live together in peace. The Lord changes and transforms human love into something more beautiful, more strong, more faithful."