First Date Suggestions

By Nora Edmonds
Herald Columnist
(From the issue of 4/3/03)

Can you give me some suggestions for first dates? Dinner and a movie often seems so predictable and sometimes uncomfortable.

I agree with you that first dates which are centered on dinner might be a little stressful. The evening consists primarily of talking, which can be difficult at first because you don’t know your date very well yet. So, the evening may seem a little like an interview. If a movie is involved then you find yourselves at the other extreme where no talking takes place and this makes it hard to get acquainted. Also with movies, you run the risk of questionable material which could make both of you uncomfortable.

So what kinds of things can you plan that will create a relaxed, comfortable and fun date? Some suggestions I have for first dates or subsequent dates early on in a relationship include a beautiful drive to the country or to the water for a nice, long walk and then a simple lunch. Sometimes being side by side in the car or on a walk makes conversation flow more easily than being face to face across a dinner table.

Another suggestion includes a bike or a canoe ride, if you are both inclined. Planning things outside offers you the beauty of nature and fresh air, both energizing and relaxing. Have a back up plan, in case it rains, although you may want to enjoy the rainy day outside.

A visit to your favorite museum can be a wonderful source of conversation. It also offers a slow, relaxing pace. Lunch or cocktails afterwards could be a nice way to finish the afternoon.

Be creative and imaginative but don’t stress out about it. Keep your plans simple but thoughtful, with your date in mind. Casually check with her beforehand about some of her interests.

A friend of mine told me about a wonderful first date she once had. Her date asked her beforehand if she liked to go on longs walks. She said she did. Her date planned the following simple, but as she described it, "perfect" first date. They walked along the C&O canal early on a Saturday morning. It was winter and the weather was clear and crisp. After walking for a couple hours, he suggested they stop for lunch. He had packed a simple lunch of tomato soup, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, oatmeal cookies and coffee. My friend was so touched by the thoughtfulness of her date. He planned this delightful morning and had prepared lunch himself. After walking back to Georgetown, they had hot chocolate to warm up. She said the date was so easy and friendly and relaxing. They had many more wonderful dates together.

Other suggestions for second or third dates would be taking a lesson together in an activity you are both interested in learning, like tennis, golf or dancing. If you are relative beginners, the lesson could be a great source of fun and entertainment, and may even provide the occasion for laughs later on. Or perhaps, you may want to volunteer for a service project like Habitat for Humanity or serving food together at a soup kitchen.

With the busy schedules we keep, it is nice to find uncomplicated, relaxing, happy things to do together. But most of all, enjoy getting to know your date in a gracious, unhurried way.

Submit questions to ask_nora@yahoo.com. Edmonds has started a Catholic Finishing School conducting seminars on Catholic culture and etiquette for junior and  high school students.

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