A Look at the Different Levels of Happiness

By Mary Beth Bonacci
Herald Columnist
(From the issue of 12/9/04)

I have a confession to make. There is a part of me that desperately wants to believe that shopping will make me happy. Well, not the shopping, per se. The fruits of shopping. The "stuff."

That part of me has been fascinated by a manuscript of my friend Kevin J. Wright’s new book Living Your Life With Purpose and Passion. I read one chapter and realized I had to tell you all about it.

First of all, I’m guessing that most of you can relate to the shopping problem. Maybe, for you, it’s not shopping. Maybe it’s cars, or electronic gadgets. Maybe it’s food or sex. Maybe it’s power or popularity. Maybe it’s the nicest house in the nicest neighborhood. But there’s something you think is going to make you happy. And yet, when you get a gadget or a promotion or a new house, you find something is still missing. You’re happy for a while. But then you feel sort of empty. The clothes sit in your closet. The car sits in the garage. The money sits in the bank. And you’re still — well, you’re still you.

You need more, right? Another fix. Another hit of the good stuff. You’re not happy because you just don’t have enough yet. Another car. Another million. Another self-improvement seminar. As Rich Mullins sang, "Everybody I know says they need just one thing, but what they really mean is they need just one thing more."

Somewhere deep down, we know that it’s God who fills that void, not those other things. But we get scared. What if I have to give the other things up? I like them so much. If I invite God deeper into my heart, does that mean I have to drive an ugly car and sit on ugly furniture? ‘Cause I still think the nice "stuff" makes me happy.

Fortunately, Wright addresses this nicely in the first chapter of his book. He says that there are different levels of happiness. Four of them.

The first level of happiness is sensory. This is where all of the "stuff" comes in. Material possessions, food, massage — they all do make us happy. But not for long. Once the experience is over, the happiness fades. (Even if the "experience" is the process of buying another material possession.)

Level one happiness isn’t a bad thing, of course. We need food. We appreciate beauty, even if it’s the beauty of a man-made material possession. But if we rely on level one to keep us happy, it’s not going to work. We’ll just float from experience to experience, hoping one will give us the long-term happiness we crave.

The second level is achievement simply for the sake of achievement. It happens when the outside world pays attention to us. Status, fame, popularity. Again, not entirely bad. God gave us talents and abilities. Exercising them feels good. A lot of the work of the world is done by people who are chasing recognition. But ask any famous person if their fame gives them lasting happiness. They know better than any of us that attention for its own sake is empty. Some keep working for another "fix" — bigger and bigger fame. Others embrace the truth and throw themselves into level three activities.

Level three is the happiness we find when we give of ourselves to make the world better. This is the love I’m always telling you about, the love Gaudium et Spes referred to in saying "Man is the only creature created for his own sake, and finds himself only in a sincere gift of himself." We find a deep abiding satisfaction in seeing the image and likeness of God in another human person, and in putting our comforts and desires aside for the sake of that person.

And yet, there is happiness even deeper than level three. Level four happiness springs from our experience of God. Augustine said "Our hearts were made for Thee, O Lord, and will not rest until they rest in Thee." There are times, sitting in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, when I know He’s there. I feel His presence and His love. And I know I was made for that.

Wright points out that the higher levels of happiness actually free us to enjoy the lower levels more. When I’m finding my fulfillment in loving God and my neighbor, nice clothes are free to be what they are — nice clothes. Not my identity, not the path to my happiness. Just pretty pieces of material that I can enjoy wearing — or hang in my closet and forget about.

Our possessions don’t define us. Our reputations don’t define us. Our charitable work doesn’t even define us. We are defined simply by our identity as children of God, made in His image and likeness, and loved deeply by Him.

If you want to enjoy everything else, put Him first.

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