Men look past pain toward peace

Though they’ve both lost loved ones in the Middle East conflict, Palestinian and Israeli ‘brothers’ say dialogue is a necessary step toward reconciliation in the Holy Land.

One Israeli and one Palestinian spent the last month traveling the United States challenging the American people to work for peace in the Holy Land.

In a gathering at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Arlington last week, Rami Elhanan, 58, and Mazen Faraj, 32, said the only way peace can be achieved in the Middle East is via continued dialogue and communication.

“If you deny yourself the right for dialogue, for talking to your enemies, if you turn your back to the problems, they will not go away — they will come after you,” Elhanan said. “It will not stop until we talk.”

The United States has a responsibility to help make this conversation a reality, they said. “You are the only power on Earth that holds the key to any kind of political movement in the area,” Elhanan said. “You must exercise your responsibility.”

Elhanan, a Zionist Jew and former Israeli soldier, and Faraj, who has lived his entire life in a refugee camp near Bethlehem, are members of the Parents Circle — Families Forum, a partner of Catholic Relief Services made up of 500 families from Israel and Palestine who have lost loved ones in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, yet still fight for peace. Elhanan’s 14-year-old daughter was killed by two Palestinian suicide bombers in 1997; Faraj’s father was killed in an attack by the Israeli Defense Force in 2002. The unusual pairing isn’t just for appearance’s sake — they consider each other family.

“What makes us brothers is something unique, is something extraordinary,” Elhanan said. “We share, between ourselves, the same kind of pain — the pain of loss.”

This combined pain makes them a powerful example. The pair has lectured at Israeli and Palestinian high schools, summer camps and made media appearances. Their project “Hello Peace,” a telephone system that connects Israelis with Palestinians, recently was shut down due to lack of funds.

The two men overcame their differences by seeing each other not as Israeli and Palestinian, but as people.

“I lost my father, but I didn’t lose my mind,” Faraj said. “I still believe there is a chance for peace. We can do it, as human beings.”

Elhanan’s and Faraj’s travels in the United States wrapped up just days before President George W. Bush visited the Middle East, outlining an optimistic vision of a peaceful future for both Israel and Palestine.

“A future of transformation is possible in the Middle East, so long as a new generation of leaders has the courage to defeat the enemies of freedom, to make the hard choices necessary for peace, and stand firm on the solid rock of universal values,” the president said in an address to the Knesset in Jerusalem last week. “The fundamental insight that freedom yields peace is the great lesson of the 20th century. Now our task is to apply it to the 21st.”

In order to apply that insight, Elhanan said the American people must help share their message of hope and peace with their country and with the world. More than anything, the violence that has killed more than 6,000 people since the fall of 2002 must end.

“This is an ongoing crime,” Elhanan said. “This is a mutual massacre of the two sides and it must be stopped.

“What we ask the American people — the American government — is to be an honest broker — not to be pro-Israeli, not to be pro-Palestinian, (but) be pro-peace,” Elhanan said.

Father Gerry Creedon, pastor of St. Charles, said he appreciated the two men’s “attitude and willingness to be self-critical. “I salute you and hope that we can learn from you,” he said.

Father Clement Aapengnuo, in residence at the parish and a recent graduate of George Mason University with a master’s in conflict resolution, said the combination of the two men speaking together was powerful.

“This is the type of story that you will never hear anywhere,” Father Aapengnuo said. “I’m just amazed. You’ve confirmed my belief that those who have not suffered much are those who say 'I will never forgive.'When you have lost everything, you have a very high capacity to forgive."