The air is cooler; the days are shorter. All of nature seems to call us in. We have an urge to build a fire, to read a story, to enjoy our families. But we don’t. Instead, the fall sports season overlaps with the winter one. Children are buckling down to study for end-of-quarter exams. The fully decked halls of the mall beckon us to shop while they catapult us into the busiest season of the year. We feel as if we are spinning in circles, accomplishing little of real worth and wishing for a simpler, more meaningful time. But somewhere inside we want to stop spinning. To slow down. To focus.

When we spin in circles or turn in dizzying spirals it is often because we have forgotten the principle that keeps ballerinas from falling in a heap after pirouettes: we've taken our eyes off a fixed focal point. The focal point is getting our families to heaven. Our marriage began with that goal; parenthood expanded it to include children. Everything else — academics, athletics, shopping, even our careers — is aligned toward that goal. At least, that's the way it should be if we are going to spin without falling. But it is so easy to get caught up in the cares of the world and in the day-to-day details and lose sight of the goal. We lose sight of why we had these dear children in the first place. We lose sight of the importance of family.

I have been reading the story of Louis and Zelie Martin, parents of St. Therese. The book begins with this quote:
"When we had our children, our ideas changed somewhat. Thenceforward we lived only for them; they made all our happiness and we would never have found it save in them. In fact, nothing any longer cost us anything; the world was no longer a burden to us. As for me, my children were my great compensation, so that I wished to have many in order to bring them up for Heaven."
There is such simple wisdom in that quote. When we bring our first baby home from the hospital, it is crystal clear that the child, the family, is what’s most important. We spin a snug little postpartum cocoon and learn to be a family. We are focused on this little soul and so grateful for the incarnation of married love. Nothing else seems to matter, for about three weeks. Then life creeps in and all the little details of the real world begin to distract us. We begin to spin in circles, trying to keep up with too many roles and worldly goals. Every time a baby is born, we again are blessed with the clear vision of our calling. And then with each child, the myriad of details becomes more complex, more distracting.

Zelie Martin’s quote reminds us that it is in our families that we will find the greatest satisfaction and it is to our families that we are most responsible. All the other components of our lives should be ordered to living our vocation as spouses and parents. If we can remember that marriage and children are our primary vocations and that it is our greatest calling to attain heaven together, we can let go some of the other things that are distracting details. That doesn't mean we don't drive to baseball practice and schedule dinner around game times; it simply means we don't let those things eat up all our mental and emotional energy. It doesn’t mean that we don’t shop and cook and decorate; it means that we do those things with the intent to create a home that nurtures souls. It doesn’t mean that we don’t work at careers; it means that we remember that the career serves the family and not the other way around.

So build a fire, snuggle with a story and make a promise anew to focus on what’s really important. Instead of spinning in circles, focus on the Lord together as a family. Abandon the distracting details to God and trust that if those things are necessary to make ourselves and our children saints, He will make it work.