The Command to Love

By Fr. Jerry Pokorsky
Herald Columnist
(From the issue of 10/24/02)

Love appeals to everyone. We are consumed with the affections of love in our popular songs, in our movies, in our daily lives. Some may say, to coin a phrase, that love just happens. Others might say that we don't know what love is, but we know it when we see it or feel it. But if love is so spontaneous, why is there such a shortage of love? Why is it necessary for the Lord to *command* us to "love God" and to "love neighbor"?

The love of neighbor might seem easy to identify. On the surface, it is easy to know and feel, for example, that "I love my mother" or "I love my spouse." But as time unfolds and affections subside, we must ask tough questions. In difficult circumstances, how can spouses be sure that they are being guided by true love and not by hidden selfish motives? Can the pain of parental discipline be compatible with love? Sometimes the question, "What is love?" has life or death consequences. Is Dr. Kevorkian on the side of true love and compassion when he injects his patients with serums of death? Is it true love to withhold ordinary care to hasten the death of a loved one in terrible pain?

The teaching and ministry of Christ -- which echoes and fulfills the laws of the Jews -- helps clear up the confusion. Christ shows us the way of true love when he commands us to love God and love neighbor. The two commands are intertwined. Our love of neighbor is guided and strengthened by our intention to love God. Christ provides the litmus test: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."

We express our love for Christ when we love our neighbor according to his teachings: Do not despise one of these little ones; blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven; blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy; every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart; let what you say be simply "Yes" or "No", anything more than this comes from evil; love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you; do unto others what you would have have them do unto you.

St. Paul describes love in his letter to the Corinthians. (Chosen by almost every couple for their marriage ceremonies!) He writes that love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude; it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. St. Paul adds that love does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. And, finally, he writes that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

This much should be clear. The love Christ commands and St. Paul describes doesn't "just happen." Love often involves difficult choices to be faithful to the teachings of Christ. But the teachings of Christ as we know them, through the authoritative teachings of the Catholic Church, lifts the fog of confusion and directs our attention to the heights of love that appeal to every generation: Greater love than this no man hath that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Fr. Pokorsky is administrator of St. Peter’s Mission in Washington, Va.

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