Parents Need Counsel to Do God's Will

By Bishop Paul S. Loverde
Bishop of Arlington
(From the issue of  7/24/03)

"Lord…send us the gift of counsel to teach us how to discern your will and to guide us in all we do." These words were proclaimed a few minutes ago in the Opening Prayer of today’s Mass – a Votive Mass of Our Blessed Lady honoring her under the title of Mother of Good Counsel.

The genesis of the title, Mother of Good Counsel, dates back to its insertion into the Litany of Loreto by Pope Leo XIII in 1903. He did so to reflect the fact that for 30 years, Our Lord grew up under the watchful eye of His Blessed Mother. Recall those words from the Book of the Prophet Isaiah that we just read which referred to Christ as the "Wonder-Counselor." Imagine the gentle persuasion of Our Blessed Lady, in her home in Nazareth, molding the humanity of Christ into a young man who would leave the home and initiate His public ministry built upon the words and wisdom of His glorified Father in heaven, His beloved mother and His foster father.

So, how do we attain the counsel necessary to do the will of God? "Counsel" is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit announced by the Prophet Isaiah (11:1-3). The Catechism of the Catholic Church speaks of the gifts of the Holy Spirit as being the sustenance of the moral life. "These are permanent dispositions which make man docile in following the promptings of the Holy Spirit"(1830). Furthermore, the Catechism tells us that, "The Most Holy Trinity gives the baptized sanctifying grace…allowing them to grow in goodness through the moral virtues" (1266).

Let us reflect on these words in the context of our monthly respect life Mass that we are celebrating here today, the day before we pay tribute to fathers tomorrow, on Father’s Day, which will also liturgically be the Feast of the Most Holy Trinity.

There were two large ads in the Arlington Catholic Herald, one prior to Mother’s Day, and the other, just last Thursday, honoring Father’s Day. Both ads are intended to show that there is more to child rearing than bringing children into the world. The extended finger of Dad’s hand in the grip of the new-born child in the Father’s Day ad reflects the Dad’s assurance to the child that he will be there!

The assuring hand of Dad becomes the first object that baby squeezes. The supporting hand of Dad becomes the guard to protect the teetering toddler taking those first steps. The organized hand of Dad sets up the first math problem in an analytical form. The tentative hand of Dad is nearby as the teen steps into the car to drive for the first time. The challenging hand of Dad comments on the style of clothing to be worn by his child. The reassuring hand of Dad is there to provide practical guidance on just about any issue. Dads are important, and so often we take them for granted.

After Mass, we will gather in prayer at the nearby abortion facility. How sad it is to see Dad driving Mom to the abortion facility to terminate their pregnancy – often waiting outside until the procedure is finished. For the price of $300 or so, a Dad tries to terminate his fatherhood. Instead, he remains a father – the father of a dead child! Research tells us that when Dad wants the child to live, and offers to assist with an untimely pregnancy, Mom generally follows his wishes. If Mom subsequently decides to terminate the pregnancy, Dad feels the loss of a son or daughter. Just as Mom must live with the abortion decision, Dad must do the same.

How do we stop the destruction of family members? How do we stop the conflict over whether to keep an "unwanted" or "defective" child? The answer is very simple. We must love as Christ loves – giving for the good of the other. We must accept children as God’s special gifts – which are to be nurtured, educated and disciplined. We must give wise counsel to our children. Dad (and Mom) must accept the challenge to mold the consciences of their children. This requires more than education, although education is part of it. This requires more than good example, although good example is part of it. This requires conforming our lives to the gospel. As we live the gospel, we are molding the consciences of our children by aligning our families to Christ.

Our consciences become the interior tool directing us toward good and away from evil (cf. CCC 1777-8). We form our consciences at a very young age under the direction of our parents. "The education of a conscience is a lifelong task. From the earliest years, it awakens the child to the knowledge and practice of the interior law recognized by conscience. Prudent education teaches virtue; it prevents or cures fear, selfishness and pride, resentment arising from guilt, and feelings of complacency, born of human weakness and flesh" (CCC 1784). Parents have this awesome responsibility to not only teach the faith to their children, but to show them, by their example, how to live it.

But some parents may ask, "With discussions about new and complex moral problems, doesn’t it seem that Christian morality is in itself too demanding, too difficult to understand and also impossible to practice?" Our Holy Father answered that question directly in his encyclical, The Splendor of the Truth. "This is untrue, since Christian morality consists, in the simplicity of the Gospel, in following Jesus Christ, in abandoning oneself to him, in letting oneself be transformed by his grace and renewed by his mercy, - gifts which come to us in the living communion of his Church" (119).

"Do whatever He tells you" (John 2:5) is more than a directive issued by Our Blessed Lady to the waiters at the wedding feast. These last recorded words of Mary which we heard in today’s gospel are a challenge to us to live out the gospel of Christ - the Gospel of Life - every day of our lives.

"May she who is called Mother of Good Counsel… suggest good ideas to us and help us to order our lives in accordance with God’s plan" (JPII Angeles, 9/6/98). As we continue this Eucharistic celebration, let us ask our Blessed Lady, Mother of Good Counsel, for the wisdom and courage to not only know what is right, but to act as we ought to act. "Mother of Good Counsel, pray for us!" Amen!

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