Hope for Older Alcoholics

By Mary D.
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Alcoholism and/or drug dependence is more widespread among older Americans than many professionals had believed, according to recent reports in the news media. Often "late onset" cases of alcoholism are difficult for doctors and other care providers to detect. These are people who have not always been problem drinkers, but whose drinking has increased after retirement, death of spouse, or some other change in circumstances.

There is definitely hope for older people who find themselves sinking gradually deeper into the morass of alcoholism. The first priority is to get them into treatment. Some people seek help on their own, and others are urged to seek treatment either by family members of a doctor. Effective treatment facilities help them recover by treating their physical symptoms, educating them about the realities of addiction, and helping them get started and grounded in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

A.A. is the ideal environment for the older recovering alcoholic. In A.A., all members are equal. Older people are treated the same as other members of the group. Everyone is on a first name basis, and in A.A. the over-60s can and do develop friendships with people much younger. No one is invisible or irrelevant because of age. Going to A.A. meetings provides structure and healthy activity for retired people. When they travel, they can attend meetings and are welcomed wherever they go.

A lady I know had always been a "social drinker." M. would have two or three drinks after work, but controlled it well. Then her husband passed away, and a year or two later she retired from her job.

Gradually, M. found herself drinking more and more. She felt she deserved it after all the years of working and raising a family. But her "friend" alcohol began to take over her life and her health. She refused the dinner invitations of her adult children who lived nearby, choosing to stay at home and drink alone. She missed the school plays and concerts of the grandchildren she loved. A constant fear was that she would have to go to the hospital and have no alcohol. She became increasingly depressed and unable to drive.

Finally, M. sought treatment for depression. (She thought "depression" sounded better than "alcoholism!") Fortunately she was referred to an excellent alcohol treatment facility. There she learned that she was not a bad person — she had a disease. She began attending A.A. meetings. M. made new friends and began to participate in life again, enjoying family gatherings and delighting in her grandchildren. Occasionally they stayed overnight at her home; this ordinary pleasure had been impossible before because of her drinking. Her family always had loved her and now they became proud of her.

M. began spending some of her time making coffee, acting as secretary or answering phones for A.A. In her retirement she had found service work that she enjoyed and that she knew truly made a difference for good in the world. Through her practice of the Twelve Steps of A.A., she learned to live one day at a time and depend completely on God.

In our parishes, there are older people who are suffering from alcoholism. This disease can be treated and arrested, and years of joyful sobriety can lie ahead. All of our loved ones deserve a chance at recovery. The first step is to get medical treatment for them.

Mary D. is a Catholic member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Questions or comments may be sent to Mary D., c/o the Arlington Catholic HERALD, 200 N. Glebe Rd. Suite 607, Arlington, Va. 22203.

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