The comfort of solidarity amid pain and the peace of
encountering Christ’s grace were the focus of the first
Arlington diocesan Mass for families suffering from
infertility, infant loss and miscarriage Dec. 12 at St.
Timothy Church in Chantilly.
“We remember in our pain that Jesus walks every day of our
lives with us, in our hope and in our joy, but also in our
anxiety, worry and grief,” said Father Thomas P. Ferguson,
vicar general and moderator of the curia, in his homily.
Concelebrating the morning Mass were Fathers Phillip M. Cozzi
and William B. Schierer, St. Timothy parochial vicars.
In one pew sat a woman whose baby lived for just 20 minutes;
in another, a family who’d lost child number five in utero.
Sprinkled throughout the church were childless couples, some
holding hands as they prayed.
The Mass was celebrated on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe
and concluded a novena to the “patroness of the unborn” led
by Arlington Bishop Paul S. Loverde on recorded audio files.
More than 500 people participated in the nine-day prayer by
downloading the files through the website of the Office for
Family Life, which sponsored the Mass and novena.
Drawing on the day’s Gospel description of the Visitation,
Father Ferguson said he’d always seen the familiar story of
Mary’s visit to St. Elizabeth as a manifestation of charity,
“where we see love in action” as the Mother of God puts the
needs of her cousin ahead of her own.
“But over the past few years, I’ve started to think of this
story in a new light,” said Father Ferguson. Pope Francis
often refers to the idea of “encounter,” both with God and
with each other, and Father Ferguson said he now also sees
the Visitation within that context.
The story contains two encounters, he said, the first between
John and Jesus – “when Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the
infant (John) leaped in her womb” – and the second between
the two mothers.
Looking into each other’s eyes, “the mothers must have been
filled with signs of joy and hope,” said Father Ferguson. But
they also may have known their children would be “a source of
worry at times … or even grief.” Both John and Jesus
would face anxiety, fear, rejection, misunderstanding and
death, he said.
And all those “are part of the human experience,” said Father
Ferguson. “Like all followers of Christ, we know great joy as
well as suffering.
“But as we look around and see each other, … we can be
consoled and encouraged by not only the solidarity, but the
encounter, the grace, that we share as we gather as one
people becoming what we receive – the body of Christ.”
Michele Healy, who lost a baby through miscarriage last
summer, said she loved how Father Ferguson linked the joy and
hope of Mary and Elizabeth with their human “trials as
parents and the trials that their sons had to endure.”
The Mass “was beautiful,” said Healy, wiping away tears. “The
tears are not just for me, but for the many women I know who
have suffered from infertility and have lost babies,” she
said, adding that “a lot of women don’t talk about it.”
“That’s why I’m so thankful to the bishop not only for
acknowledging it, but also offering us something spiritually
helpful.”
The novena and Mass were not just for mothers; infertility
and the loss of a baby affect the whole family, said Barbara
Healy, Michele’s mother-in-law. “People expect that women
grieve about it more than men, but it’s also men’s loss, a
family’s loss, and it’s good to see things like this geared
toward them all,” she said.
To know her prayers were joined with others – the kind of
solidarity Father Ferguson spoke of – “was deeply
appreciated,” said Anna Tremel, a parishioner of Holy Spirit
Church in Annandale who has lost three babies to miscarriage.
The Mass and novena don’t take away the pain, she said, “but
they are a part of an ongoing process of grief … and
I’m very grateful.”
