A few days after Christmas, my kids were preparing to head back to college, jobs, their everyday lives.

It was then that I took out the packet of thank-you notes, aimed primarily at the two younger ones who I knew would find it a great convenience — and incentive — to have Mom supply notes and stamps.

They sat at the dining room table and, like they had for all their growing up years, spelled out their gratitude a la Emily Post.

As usual, I delivered my little speech on the importance of the thank-you note. Even when you go for a job interview, I said, it's appropriate to send a thank you to the person who interviewed you.

Yes, my son-in-law interjected, but that's also done by email.

Ah, yes, I reminded myself. I am of the pen-and-ink generation, and a younger crew has been weaned on email and texting. I have to remember that there are many ways to express thanks — as long as it's rendered.

So, the evening of Dec. 30, watching the "CBS Evening News," I was pleased to see a similar discussion in a segment narrated by correspondent Steve Hartman. Hartman said he had sent no thank-you notes for last year's Christmas gifts, never mind this year's.

And he debated the subject with "60 Minutes" correspondent Byron Pitts, who writes out his thanks to many people, including camera crews and people who consent to interviews, all in long hand on fine note paper.

The debate segued into a short story about John Kralik, author of A Simple Act of Gratitude: How Learning to Say Thank You Changed My Life. Kralik, at a point when his life was spiraling downward, heard an inner voice tell him to start writing thank-you notes.

While not exactly words spoken from a burning bush, they did turn Kralik's life around. He wrote to thank the gal at Starbucks who always remembered his name and drink, he thanked his daughter's piano teacher, he thanked the lady who cuts his hair.

In all, he wrote 365 thank-you notes, and then he wrote a book about how gratitude transformed him.

Gratitude, of course, is more than just a nice social amenity. It has theological underpinnings. One can go back to the 13th-14th-century mystic Meister Eckhart, who said, "If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will suffice," or you can look at the 1992 U.S. bishops' pastoral, "Stewardship: A Disciple's Response," and note that all Christian stewardship begins with a deep sense of gratitude to God who has given us everything.

Being grateful is tougher than it sounds. Socially, we are trained to want more and be discontent with what is.

This is especially insidious with children, who in our society are given great quantities of material things but are constantly, through the media and our general cultural values, encouraged to believe that to lead quality lives, they must have more.

Anyone who reads advice columns knows the grandmother's lament: My grandchildren never thank me. One year after sending a relative's children Christmas gifts, a friend offered only this in a phone call: "I know you sent the kids something, but it's always so chaotic on Christmas morning, I can't remember what. But thanks."

This might be the best gift you give your child this new year: Teach him or her to write a real thank-you note, in which he or she recalls what the gift was and reflects on both its material value and on the inestimable value of the giver.

Caldarola is a freelance writer from Anchorage, Alaska.