Every parent worries about the safety and wellbeing of their child, particularly when their child is outside the home. But what happens when a child sees someone shot on social media?
Diocesan psychologists and counselors warn that children and teens who witnessed recent violent events replayed on social media may consequently suffer from negative mental health symptoms. Recent examples include the Aug. 27 shooting at Annunciation Catholic Church in Minneapolis; the Aug. 22 stabbing of Iryna Zarutska on a train in Charlotte, N.C.; and the Sept. 10 killing of Charlie Kirk at Utah Valley University in Orem, Utah.
Videos of the violence against Kirk and Zarutska went viral on social media in the days and weeks afterward, and social media platforms were slow to take down the graphic content. After Kirk’s killing, several platforms such as Meta and YouTube required users to consent before watching videos that depicted the moment Kirk was shot. Other platforms, including X and TikTok, did not, and many social media users, including teens and children, witnessed the violence unintentionally.
“After the shooting of Charlie Kirk, the video of the incident was circulating all over social media,” said Sarah Chun, a school counselor at St. Paul VI Catholic High School in Chantilly. “As humans, we may be naturally curious and want to click on something like that but seeing someone murdered in such a violent way is deeply impactful.”
Jeff Mazzone, a counselor and co-founder of Harmonia Counseling in Fredericksburg, said that a child’s reaction to seeing graphic content — intentionally or unintentionally — can present mental health issues down the road. “The impact on a child’s brain after exposure to graphic content either violent or sexual is one of shock, thrill, danger and pleasure,” he said. “The physiological changes we experience in our bodies in response to these can form a habitual desire for repeated exposure.”
While it may seem counterintuitive that a child would seek out more violent content, it’s indicative of a deeper cultural issue, according to Michael Horne, a licensed clinical psychologist and director of clinical services for diocesan Catholic Charities. “The more we’re exposed to violence, the more numb we become to it,” he said. “Repeated exposure to graphic content … can cause desensitization. The violence, be it physical or sexual, becomes normalized, and children can start to believe that this is the way the world works, or that the behavior is acceptable.”
According to Deacon Marques Silva, director of the diocesan Office of Child Protection and Safety, violent and sexual online content are “two sides of the same coin.” There is a direct correlation between an adult giving a child a piece of technology with access to the internet and early exposure to graphic content like pornography, he said.
The average age at which children are exposed to graphic media, violent or sexual, “keeps slipping lower and lower,” according to Frank Moncher, psychologist and chair of the diocesan Mental Health Council. The age at which children are introduced to smartphone technology likewise keeps decreasing.
Children’s access to smartphones — and social media — has dramatically increased over the last decade-plus. Last year, a CDC study reported that “frequent social media use” among teens was associated with “persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness, and some suicide risk among students.”
“It is estimated that on average, adolescents today spend between eight and nine hours behind a screen each day,” said Dan Geary, a school counselor at John Paul the Great Catholic High School in Potomac Shores. He added that while children under 12 view parents and guardians as the most significant influence in their lives, adolescents are influenced primarily by their peer group, in which social media plays a large role.
But professionals warn that social media does little to actually foster friendships and serves more as an addictive, habitual response to boredom or other negative emotions. According to Harmonia counselor Mazzone, repeatedly turning to social media in response to negative emotions can harm adolescents’ emotional development, with long-term impacts lasting into adulthood.
Children who view violent content online may also suffer from secondary trauma, according to Paul VI school counselor Chun. “Secondary trauma is a specific form of trauma that is caused by secondhand exposure to traumatic events, such as hearing about the recent Annunciation school shooting or watching the news coverage about it.”
Counselors warn that if parents do not set limits on technology use, children may run into content like the Kirk shooting. “If there are no limitations or restrictions placed on (children’s) phones, then they may be viewing violent videos or other inappropriate videos without even intending to,” Chun said. “The responsibility for viewing behaviors ultimately lies with the parents, and safeguards need to be placed sooner rather than later.”
When it comes to children viewing violent media, Mazzone said that “the first step that parents can take with their children to heal and process what they viewed is to create a space where children believe they can talk about the experience with them.”
Staying calm is key, the psychologists added. “If a child knows that they can bring any concerns to their parents and not worry that they’ll ‘get in trouble,’ the parents can help the child process whatever the concerning situation may be,” Horne said. The reverse is also true. “If children are met with anger in the past from parents around confessions they make, they will be less likely to share in the future,” Mazzone said.
John Paul the Great school counselor Geary said that it is just as important for parents to monitor their kids’ online behavior as it is to keep a watchful eye on them playing outside — knowing who the children are interacting with, where they’re going and what they’re doing at all times. He also suggested parents implement boundaries around phone and social media use.
One suggestion includes creating a “Family Plan” with rules such as prohibiting phones at the dinner table, docking the phones before bedtime in a common living area, or using screens in only one area of the house. Others include prohibiting social media for kids under 13, checking kids’ social media profiles and privacy settings, and discussing negative consequences for misuse or abuse of social media. “Parents can teach adolescents to responsibly use social media,” Geary said. “Gradual exposure to social media with parental supervision will better prepare them to use it in healthy ways on their own.”
What about teens who are deeply addicted to social media? For teens still living at home, discussing boundaries needs to happen sooner rather than later, according to psychologist Moncher. “The more frantic the child is when you set boundaries, the deeper the problem,” he said.
Deacon Silva offers a presentation, “Parenting in the Digital Divide,” every few months for parents looking to make changes but unsure how.
Paul VI school counselor Chun offers encouragement for concerned parents. “An overarching positive piece to remember is that studies show the amazing resiliency of children. If children have one caring adult in their lives at home, at school, at church, on the field, court, or track (field), their ability to be resilient increases,” she said. “We want to empower parents and teens to be aware of mental health and the importance of taking care of the amazing mind and body that God has given us.”
Find out more
“Parenting in the Digital Divide” will be held at St. Leo the Great Church in Fairfax Nov. 13 at 7 p.m., and St. Patrick Church in Fredericksburg Jan. 10, 2026, at 10 a.m.
