Andrew Bodoh was attending a talk for parents with special needs children when the speaker commented that if the parents still felt suffering, they were not praying enough. This statement lit a fire in Bodoh. But he did not shout that the statement was erroneous or stomp out of the room in anger. Instead, right then and there, he got out a pen and began to write.
“There is going to be suffering,” said Bodoh. “Things aren’t going to be all right and you have to recognize that and you have to be OK with that. That is the kind of thing I wanted to share with others. To have these honest, vulnerable conversations.”
So, Bodoh wrote a 116-page book divided into 12 chapters of Christian lessons combined with his own personal experience.
Bodoh is the father of four and the self-described “undeserving husband” of his wonderful wife, Joyce. They live in Fredericksburg and are parishioners of St. Mary of the Immaculate Conception Church. He is senior associate for the firm Thomas H. Roberts and Associates in Richmond and specializes in civil rights and constitutional law.
Their daughter was born on Valentine’s Day 2015. Elizabeth, named after the headstrong heroine from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice,” has hydrocephalus, excessive cerebrospinal fluid in the skull caused by a congenital brain malformation. She is almost completely blind, confined to a wheelchair and cannot speak. But she loves music and can tell when music is just being played or if someone is singing directly to her.
The book’s title, “Love Fiercely,” comes from Lesson 3, which is about confronting injustices, something he’s had to do both personally and professionally as a civil rights lawyer.
“Being fierce is not the same as being aggressive. Fierceness lies in a resolute determination to oppose another, even at high personal cost,” said Bodoh.
He has spent hours on the phone being fierce with insurance companies and other institutions that, in one way or another, try to hold out on care for a child with special needs. He has become an expert in navigating these conversations and has coached others on how to do the same.
In the end, Bodoh hopes his book will help parents navigate their role.
“Outsiders often imagine only the hardship or the beauty,” said Bodoh. “ ‘There is nothing more tragic,’ they say, or ‘The child is an angel,’ but that is not the reality.”
The final lesson in “Love Fiercely” focuses on recognizing God’s gifts.
“Elizabeth’s vulnerability and the vulnerability of our family constantly remind me to be grateful. Elizabeth should have died years ago,” writes Bodoh. “But God gave mankind a way to manage the pressure. I give thanks to God and for the men and women who cooperated with God’s grace to make this life with Elizabeth possible.”
“Love Fiercely” is available in print and audiobook on Amazon and locally at Rex Rappahannock bookstore in Fredericksburg.
Kassock is a freelance writer in Fredericksburg.
