“Abandon the notion that girls become women at age 15,” said
Father Alexander Díaz at a recent diocesan retreat for
Hispanic girls. “(That milestone birthday) is the first step
toward womanhood, but 15-year-old girls are still girls.”
Father Díaz, who serves as parochial vicar at Holy
Family Church in Dale City, was addressing a room full of
parents and their 14-year-old daughters at a diocesan retreat
Feb. 21. The retreat is a new effort meant to prepare parents
and girls for quinceañeras, the predominantly Mexican
and Central American equivalent of a Sweet 16.
Quinces, as they’re known for short, originated in the New
World during the Spanish Colonial era as a coming of age
ceremony. Back then, once a girl turned 15, she received a
priest’s blessing to either marry or enter the convent, thus
becoming a woman in the eyes of society. Today, quince
blessings are more likely to be followed by parties than
betrothals. Some parties are as lavish as weddings, with
catered food, live mariachi music, professional photographers
and other luxuries. According to Father Díaz, the U.S.
minimum average cost for a quince is $10,000 but can be
upward of $25,000.
“Parents are spending what they don’t have,” he said. “They
go into debt; they put the party on a credit card. They don’t
want to break their girls’ hearts. But how many of them are
thinking about college? What lesson is that for girls? I’m
not against a party, but do it properly.”
Organized by Karla Aleman, an administrative assistant for
the Spanish Apostolate, Arlington’s quince retreats take
place on select Saturdays at the diocesan center. The
program, which is divided into four parts, was designed to
remind parents and girls of the milestone’s spiritual aspect.
The first part introduces the origin of the
quinceañera and how the celebrations have evolved over
time. The second part discusses quinces in terms of vocations
– discerning God’s will and planning for the future. The
third part focuses on the Christian aspect of quinces and
what it means to be a Catholic woman. The fourth part
discusses quince etiquette in a church setting. Girls are
expected to participate through discussion and light
journaling. At the end of the retreat, the girls receive a
certificate of completion and a fresh rose.
Throughout the morning, Father Díaz emphasized the
importance of education and hard work for any girl. He told
parents to treat their daughters the same as their sons, and
to be open-minded about their daughters’ career goals.
Families should prioritize college and Christian values over
ostentatious quinces.
“An educated woman is like a precious diamond,” he said. “An
educated woman contributes to society.”
He asked girls to look at visionaries from throughout history
– Gandhi, Salvadorian martyr Bishop Oscar Romero, Supreme
Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor – for role models.
Father Díaz said, “I don’t know if I’m standing among
the first female president, a future Supreme Court justice,
the person who will discover the cure for cancer or a new
planet in the universe. But I don’t ask that you become
presidents. I ask that you reach your full potential.”
When Father Díaz asked the girls about their dream
jobs, their answers ranged from doctor to astronomer to FBI
agent to animator. He encouraged them to focus on those
dreams, while still making time for fun. That fun may include
healthy outlets like sports or dancing, but not drugs,
premarital sex or other sinful activities that “break your
friendship with God.”
He warned parents against serving alcohol to minors at
quinces, putting their daughters in revealing dresses and
hiring indiscreet photographers who interrupt the Mass. He
also asked families to respect the Eucharist, observe the
sacraments and remember that a quince is about their
daughters’ blessing and vocation.
“Fall in love with work,” Father Díaz told the girls.
“Work dignifies. People who work hard fly high.”
Find out more
To learn more about future diocesan quinceañera
retreats, contact Karla Aleman at
[email protected] or 703/841-3866. The next
retreat takes place March 28.
Stoddard can be reached at [email protected].
