In the months before she was killed, Mary Karen Read, 19, had been reflecting on forgiveness.
“When deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive,” was one quotation she had written in her notebook. Another was “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
Her family and friends have held on to those words in the 15 years since Mary, a freshman at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, died in one of the nation’s deadliest shootings, April 16, 2007. Mass shootings have been on the rise in recent years, but the Virginia Tech shooting remains the nation’s deadliest on a college campus, with 32 dead, not including the shooter, and 17 others wounded.
At his daughter’s funeral at St. Mary of Sorrows Church in Fairfax, Peter Read shared the quotes on forgiveness the family had found in a little red notebook in Mary’s dorm room. He referred to them again this spring, at the rededication of a small memorial in Canterbury Woods Park, near his family’s home in Annandale. The original memorial had been located on a flood plain, and community volunteers worked with Fairfax County and Park Authority officials to move it to higher ground in time for the 15th anniversary of the shootings.
“Sometimes it seems like forever, and sometimes it seems like the blink of an eye,” Peter said after Deacon Nick LaDuca of St. Mary of Sorrows blessed the memorial at the rededication ceremony April 16.
Mary played clarinet and wanted to be a teacher; she was a member of Campus Crusade for Christ and had applied to be a Bible study leader. She was to have been notified of her acceptance the day of the shooting. “Her faith was the focal point of her life,” said her father, a retired U.S. Air Force lieutenant colonel.
He thanked about 100 community volunteers and officials who supported the project, led by Stephen Miller, a parishioner of Holy Spirit Church in Annandale, and Steve’s daughter, Lindsay Miller, who had been Mary’s classmate at Annandale High School and Virginia Tech. They worked for two years with Fairfax County supervisors and park officials on plans and approvals to move the memorial, created in 2008, after seeing the original site flood during heavy rains.
The memorial’s bench and stone marker have been moved to higher ground across the park near Wakefield Chapel Road and Braddock Road. The new site is landscaped with a stone path and new native plantings, including three Eastern redbud trees, whose pink blossoms will return every year at the time of the anniversary.
“The words I spoke at the funeral, that came out of her little red book, were all about the power of forgiveness,” Peter said at the ceremony. “It doesn’t change the past but it enlarges the future. Here we all are, enlarging the future. People helped with this memorial who never knew Mary,” he noted.
“The power of her spirit, the power of her example, animated that effort, and the power of her example is animated still, just like with all of her fellow Hokies who were taken from us that day. They’re not gone and the power of their example is not gone. We are in a time where we need that so badly, to share that spirit of compassion and kindness and forgiving love.”
Steve said he didn’t know Mary, but was moved by her words. When he saw the flooding at the original memorial site, and thought about the Virginia Tech motto, “Ut prosim,” “That I may serve,” he felt called to lead the charge to get the memorial moved.
He said he’s grateful for all the work the various governmental entities did to get the work done in time for the 15th anniversary, and has committed to raise funds to share in the costs, which were paid up front by the Fairfax County Park Foundation. His daughter created a GoFundMe site to collect donations.
“I can’t even imagine what it’s like to lose a child to violence,” he said, adding that he didn’t want Mary or her memorial to be forgotten. “It was one of those tasks done out of love, and I know for a fact it’s made me a different person.”
Find out more
Read about fundraising efforts to share the cost of moving and refurbishing the Mary Read Memorial at gofund.me/3ea283cb.
