It is strange to say that this Christmas may be a return to normal, but for many people this will be the first time since 2019 that families will be able to gather together without restrictions. We can approach this holiday season with an increased awareness of the importance of our friends and family, and perhaps take a new approach to old traditions. As we approach the Nativity of Our Lord, we can focus on these three things.
Gratitude
Christmas can be a time where we feel a profound sense of gratitude in our lives, toward the blessings God gives us and the presence of our loved ones. However, we may not always articulate these thoughts and feelings. Our friends and families, no matter how special they are, aren’t mind readers. It’s important that we take the opportunity to let people know how much they mean to us and help them see how greatly we love them.
Research into relationships shows that the healthiest relationships are the ones that have at least five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. This 5:1 ratio is critical as it allows relationships to not be emotionally bankrupt by conflict whereas relationships with fewer positive encounters struggle to thrive when faced with difficulties.
This Christmas, create opportunities to increase these positive encounters by expressing love and gratitude for others in our lives.
Forgiveness
As COVID prevented some families from gathering in the past few years, this may be the first time we share Christmas with family members who are more challenging. It’s true that absence sometimes makes the heart grow fonder, but time can also cause old wounds to fester if not addressed. Perhaps we are holding on to grudges. Perhaps there are family members who we need to be ready to forgive. Studies show that there are clear health benefits associated with forgiveness. People who forgive are less likely to feel angry, sad or out of control than those who don’t forgive. Also, forgiveness is associated with increased physical health, quality of sleep and reduced fatigue. We can show mercy and begin to restore damaged relationships in our willingness to forgive those whom we may have struggled with in Christmases past.
Faith
We understand that Christ is the reason for Christmas and we know the significance of Our Lord and savior coming to us as a child. Pope Benedict XVI said, “God made himself small so that we could understand him, welcome him, and love him.” As we focus on the simplicity of that love, we can ask ourselves whether we are striving to see the face of Christ in our family around us. Likewise, are we striving to show the face of Christ to those we encounter, in the way we love and forgive this Christmas.
Dr. Horne is Catholic Charities’ director of clinical services.
Find out more
Catholic Charities counselors provide sessions in person and via teletherapy. To set up an appointment to speak with a Catholic Charities counselor, call 703/859-3147 or 703/447-9402.
Corpus Christi