Thank goodness — one glance around most parish landscapes today will reveal vibrant groups for men (That Man is You, Knights of Columbus), women (Walking with Purpose, moms’ groups), couples (Teams of Our Lady), as well as for young adults, youth, seniors and more.
But rarely — besides a parish picnic or festival — will you see anything on the parish calendar where the entire messy, loud and sacred family is welcomed on a regular basis. Why is this? After all, if Pope St. John Paul II was right in noting that “the future of humanity passes by way of the family,” shouldn’t every parish be prioritizing ways to host, encourage and form families?
Sensing the need and desire that families have for community, my wife and I — alongside five dedicated couples, our “Core Team” — launched Trinity House Community Group at St. John the Apostle Church in Leesburg in 2021, with our pastor’s blessing and the director of religious education’s support.
We immediately found that parents appreciated the ready-made feel of a Saturday evening out — what we called a Heaven in Your Home Gathering — with pizza and salad, childcare, a brief talk on living out the faith at home, discussion time with other couples, and a potluck-style drinks and dessert reception. A volunteer brought fresh floral centerpieces for every gathering, and the parish hall was transformed. Now, attendance routinely tops 75 and the model has spread to other parishes.
But little did we know then just how much the kids would look forward to their next “Heaven in Your Home party” or “church party,” as many parents have shared. As one dad told me, his 5-year-old boy recently asked as they were getting in the car, “Is tonight regular church or heaven in your home church?” Another parent shared, “Now our kids associate church not only with Mass, but also with fellowship with other families.”
Matt, a dad of four young kids, told me, “This is one of the few ministries I’ve encountered that focuses on the flourishing of Catholic families. The Heaven in Your Home Gathering equips us with tools and the support of our parish community to joyfully live an authentically Catholic family life. It’s been awesome to share this journey with so many other families who are working to build the kingdom in their homes.”
Now, there are at least three reasons whole-family ministry is so difficult for parishes. First, families are insanely busy with school, sports and other extracurriculars, not to mention often holding down two full-time jobs. Second, parish budgets and staff — principals, directors of religious education, priests, and deacons — are often overstretched. Finally, if you’re fortunate enough to be able to attract a handful of families into a parish hall on a Saturday evening, what do you actually do? What’s the framework? Often the answer is not clear.
This was the daunting trifecta of questions my wife and I took to our Core Team couples, who included a permanent deacon, parents of a priest, entrepreneurs, educators, and other professionals (and among us, a few dozen children, and even some grandchildren). Over drinks, meals and a lot of prayer, we launched a beta version of a Heaven in Your Home Gathering at 6:30 p.m. on a Saturday evening in September 2021.
Our goal with this team and the participants was to “fail better” with each successive gathering. We hit snags. At first, the “conversation starter” talks were too long. We began by meeting monthly but realized that every other month was a better rhythm. For a while, it worked to have the kids doing activities in the same room as the parents, but then the Lord sent us Virtus-trained volunteers and the caliber of focus and connection between the parents — down the hall in a classroom — skyrocketed.
Now, the Trinity House Community is making all the resources available — brief video presentations, discussion questions, catechetical resources, leader guides and checklists — to any parish in the country to host five all-family Heaven in Your Home Gatherings in the 2023-24 school year. All it will take is a parish coordinator, a parish hall, a core team of couples who can share the simple responsibilities, and yes, the Holy Spirit.
“We’re not happy about this summer break,” one parent whispered to us after our recent May gathering, motioning toward their 5-year-old. “That’s a long time to go without a church party.” But “church parties” aside, the real joy is knowing that the party is continuing in homes where parents are raising their children in the joy of the faith.
Johnson and his wife, Ever, are cofounders of trinityhousecommunity.org.
