Erika Blumrich knew about Red Bird Ministries, a Catholic ministry for grieving parents. But she never thought she’d need it. Then, when she was 15 weeks pregnant with her third son, she miscarried. “When everything happened, thank God they were there,” she said.
A few months after their loss, Blumrich and her husband attended a Red Bird Ministries couples workshop. “I was a little hesitant, but my husband (said), ‘Let’s do it, because I think we both need some way of talking about it,’ ” said Blumrich. “The first few months after a loss, people are there and if you need to talk, you can. But once you get past that initial part, where do you turn? And how do you process this?”
Red Bird Ministries was founded in Breaux Bridge, La., by a Catholic couple, Kelly and Ryan Breaux, who experienced miscarriage, lost a son at 15 days old and his twin sister three years later. When they couldn’t find Catholic grief support, they founded Red Bird Ministries. The name was inspired by the lyrics of a song about loss, “Red Bird Flies,” by Sweet Cecilia, friends of the couple. The ministry serves parents who have lost children from pregnancy through adulthood with resources such as in-person retreats, an app, spiritual direction and peer-to-peer support.
Blumrich found the workshop, and later, the mom’s retreat, very worthwhile. “Getting it all from the Catholic perspective (was helpful) because you also have the struggle with your faith when you go through something traumatic like that,” she said. “When you are having the anger and the doubts and everything, (the ministry helps) you see it with God’s design in mind, and what he had planned, and try to take comfort in that.”
After the death of her newborn son, Elizabeth Leon, a parishioner of St. Theresa Church in Ashburn, tried going to a secular grieving parents support group with her husband. “It was terrible and we never went back,” she said. “The clincher was there was somebody there who lost their baby to Trisomy 18, like our son, but they had terminated for medical reasons. I couldn’t handle that.”
Leon connected with Kelly Breaux after writing, “Let Yourself Be Loved: Big Lessons From a Little Life.” A year and a half ago, Leon accepted a position as Red Bird’s director of family support and she’s now helping to implement a Red Bird chapter in the Arlington diocese. “We’re super grateful (to the Office of Marriage, Family and Respect Life) because it’s an investment,” said Leon of the diocese’s partnership with Red Bird. Some secular grief courses can cost hundreds and parents have already paid the ultimate price by losing their child, she said. An upcoming daylong couples workshop in Reston costs $80 per couple.
Leon sees the work as a way to keep couples close to one another and their faith as they navigate loss. “Catholic grief support, specifically for child loss, is the missing touchpoint of evangelization. We can meet people when they’re most vulnerable,” she said.
Leon is excited for a recently launched initiative called The Good Shepherd, a partnership with Divine Mercy University to create grief support training for clergy and church employees. “All those people are on the frontlines of interacting with grieving parents,” said Leon. “What one church secretary says can make or break a faith experience for a family at that time.”
When Blumrich was questioning everything in her life, Red Bird helped her stay close to God. These days, she’s reimagining life without her son, whom they named Morgan Thomas, while taking care of her two young boys and preparing for a new baby on the way. “I’m glad that we have them moving forward,” she said of Red Bird. “They’re very good at giving you hope when it gets very dark. They won’t let you be forgotten.”
Find out more
Red Bird Ministries and the diocesan Office of Marriage, Family and Respect Life are hosting a “Loving Through Loss Couples Workshop” Oct. 28 at St. Thomas à Becket Church in Reston. For more information, go to arlingtondiocese.org/redbird or call 703-841-2550.
