The sound of laughter and conversation echoed through the halls as some 130 women exited daily Mass and entered the parish hall at St. Thomas à Becket Church in Reston. The parish hosted the Nov. 11 Arlington GIVEN Gathering, a daylong women’s conference sponsored by the GIVEN Institute.
The nonprofit institute, established in 2018 by religious sisters from the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious, helps Catholic women develop leadership skills. The institute stemmed from the biannual Catholic Young Women’s Leadership Forum, first held in the summer of 2016 by the sisters. The summer forums train young Catholic women professionals in leadership and faith formation.
The conference was organized by Thérèse Bermpohl, executive director of the Office of Marriage, Family and Respect Life and a member of GIVEN’s board of directors. Six religious orders attended the gathering, including the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, the Franciscan Sisters of the Eucharist, the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity, the Sisters of Life, the Daughters of St. Paul and the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy.
Father Richard E. Dyer, pastor, opened the conference with prayer, followed by an address from GIVEN’s Executive Director Michelle Hillaert. “Today, we’re excited for women of all ages to come and receive the gift that you are, realize the gifts you have been given and respond with the gifts that only you can give,” she said.
The conference’s three talks focused on the themes of “receive, realize and respond.”
Speaker and author Mary Lenaburg described her journey of receiving God’s love and embracing her purpose.
Lenaburg said that before and early in her marriage to her husband, Jerry, the couple struggled with chastity and accepting God’s plan for their family. “We didn’t know who we were in God. We didn’t know the gift of our unique selves,’’ she said. “And then we met this little girl. Her name is Courtney Elizabeth Scholastica Lenaburg, and she was born on Aug. 18, 1992.”
The couple soon realized Courtney faced several medical issues after she experienced her first grand mal seizure during her baptism. They took her to the emergency room, and Courtney spent a week in the pediatric ICU having seizures daily.
Lenaburg said she prayed in desperation at the hospital, asking God, “Why?” She said she heard God speak to her, “Mary Beth, do you love her?” After replying “yes,” Lenaburg said she heard God say, “I love her too. And I don’t make mistakes. All I ask of you is to love her.”
Seven months later, Courtney had an allergic reaction to a medication. She lost the ability to walk or talk and was partially blind. In 2004, Courtney underwent a risky brain surgery. Lenaburg said that during the surgery she finally realized that complete healing for Courtney and herself would only be possible in heaven, and she reconciled herself with Courtney’s struggles.
Courtney passed away in her mother’s arms 10 years later, Dec. 27, 2014, at age 22. “She taught me who I was. I learned through the life of a little girl who couldn’t speak, who couldn’t walk, who needed me to do everything for her, what the face of God looked like. And I, just like my daughter, could never earn love. She just freely received it,” Lenaburg said.
Having learned self-acceptance and love from Courtney’s life, Lenaburg said she encourages women to accept their purpose. “You are an individual that is unrepeatable, that is so unique that if you don’t do what you’ve been called to do, no one else can do it, and we then miss out on the gift of who you are,” she said.
In the second talk, Sister of Life Mary Gabriel, chairman of GIVEN, said that for women to realize their individual gifts, they must also realize God’s gifts of creation, redemption and Jesus’ trust in their humanity.
All humankind, but especially women, feel an ache in our human nature, Sister Gabriel said. “What’s really difficult to appreciate is that this emptiness is part of the gift that we’re meant to realize,” she said.
Our human ache and weaknesses are gifts and opportunities to grow in virtue, Sister Gabriel said. Through Jesus’ redemption, he allows us, in spite of our weaknesses, to participate in God’s plan for humanity, Sister Gabriel added.
Lunch was provided after the morning talks. Eucharistic adoration followed in the church, where the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy led attendees in praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.
The last talk of the day was delivered by Katie Weiss, an attendee of the first GIVEN forum and founder of the ministry Behold, which helps women grow in prayer through religious art. She encouraged the women to reflect on the day’s themes and develop their own “action plan.” Weiss asked attendees, “From your gifts and what you know about yourself, what is one way you can give back to the church?”
Weiss gave her own example of God’s work in her vocation. A decade ago, Weiss entered the religious life in Nashville, having believed her whole life that she was called to be a religious sister. She then experienced months of spiritual unrest. After leaving the order that year, she entrusted her vocational struggles to Mary. She attended GIVEN in 2016 and developed an action plan to minister to women through art, which resulted in Behold. Today, she is married and has a baby boy.
Weiss walked attendees through reflection questions to help create their own action plan. “No matter what you feel like the Lord is asking of you, don’t be afraid to ask to go big, to go with the desires of your heart,” she said.
Ayleen Ferry, a parishioner of Good Shepherd Church in Alexandria, said she heard about the conference from a parents group at the parish.
“I really just wanted to connect with other women,” she said. “You have your different ‘tanks,’ and I needed my spiritual ‘tank’ filled up.”
Jeanne Marie Scherling, a parishioner of St. Andrew Church in Clifton, said that she heard about the conference from a friend. She said the talks helped her realize, “Christ comes to each of us just as we are. He comes to us — especially in the Eucharist — as we are in our brokenness. He wants to heal us and he wants to remain with us, because we are his beloved daughters.”
