It was five minutes before the wedding when the groom realized he left his bride’s bouquet at home.
“His eyes just got really big, a deer-in-the-headlights look,” said Barbara Schwartz, a wedding coordinator at St. Leo the Great Church in Fairfax. But Schwartz and the other volunteer began to devise a plan. “Don’t worry, it’s not a problem,” she assured the groom.
Schwartz remembered that at the morning’s wedding, the bride and groom left white roses at the statue of Mary. She quickly decided to borrow the blooms. As the celebrant later reassured her, “Mary wouldn’t mind.”
Schwartz dried off the bouquet in the sacristy, and her co-coordinator Christine Silva found a gold ribbon to wrap around the stems. “We didn’t know what was going to happen when we gave (the bride) a bouquet that wasn’t her bouquet,” said Schwartz. “She so graciously went, ‘Thank you, they’re beautiful.’ And we went on, just in the nick of time.”
Being a wedding coordinator requires knowing the wedding ceremony in and out, guiding bridal parties through the rite and thinking on your feet to help them through. For all the stressful moments a wedding coordinator experiences, witnessing two people say “I do” makes the challenges worth it for volunteers.
“I get a little choked up every time I see the bride coming down toward the groom,” said Renee Sewall, a wedding coordinator at St. James Church in Falls Church. “It’s beautiful to see.” Her daughter enjoys it, too. “She likes helping put the bows on the pews and checking out the dresses of the bridesmaids and the bride as they come down the aisle. It’s just been fun,” Renee said.
Through her business Blue Veil Events, Marielena Dias Edscorn encourages couples to find creative ways to bring their culture, personality and faith into their wedding. On her social media, she dreams up ways to incorporate favorite saints and feast days, such as a doughnut wall adorned with the words of Padre Pio, “Pray, hope and do not (donut) worry.” She’s currently planning an October wedding inspired by Memento Mori, the Latin phrase often invoked by Catholics that means remember you must die. “I’m hoping to get (the bride) a skull rosary and put it around her bouquet,” said Edscorn. “There are so many ways to have fun with elements from our faith.”
On wedding days, Schwartz carries a kit of essentials like a needle and thread, bandages, tissues and a spray bottle of water to tamp down static. She keeps the participants punctual to prevent the wedding from running into Saturday afternoon confessions. She once had to convince a groomsman not to retrieve forgotten boutonnières when the wedding was already 20 minutes behind.
“You say it with a smile and pretty much everybody is pretty gracious, because they want the bride and groom to have a beautiful wedding,” she said.
In addition to the practical considerations, she tries to safeguard the sacred, which includes stepping in when a photographer encroaches on the sanctuary. “It’s a call to be as understanding as you can and help them see why we’re trying to raise the dignity of this sacrament,” she said.
From walking the bride through the logistics and putting a nervous groom at ease to praying alongside the couples’ loved ones, Schwartz loves every part of coordinating weddings. “It’s a most beautiful ministry from start to finish,” she said.
Tips for engaged couples
1. Check out the wedding guidelines first
Before you get your hopes set on something, check with the parish, said Schwartz. For example, many churches don’t allow flower petals to be thrown on the aisle or rice on the steps of the church as both can be a tripping hazard, especially for those with disabilities. “Ask lots of questions, and don’t wait until the last minute,” she said.
2. Bring your faith to your reception
Your wedding Mass shouldn’t be the only time that your faith is the center of the day, said Edscorn. Have prayer cards as favors, pick flowers that evoke your favorite saint or hold a foot- washing ceremony as a reminder to be Christlike in marriage. “Our faith spans a multitude of historical moments, cultures and traditions — use them,” she said.
3. Remember the marriage is what matters
In Sewall’s wedding coordinating experience, something doesn’t go according to plan about half the time. But whether it’s the flowers or the music, it usually all works out. “You’re still getting married at the end of the day,” she said.
Maraist is a freelancer from Reston.
