Q. I have heard that the "rite of
betrothal" is becoming popular in certain young Catholic circles. What
does this rite entail? Was it more common prior to the Second Vatican Council?
Would you recommend that an engaged couple seek out this rite? (Washington)
A. The rite of betrothal was a little-known but long-standing
service of prayer in which a couple had their engagement formally blessed by a
priest. The 1906 edition of The Catholic Encyclopedia
notes that the ritual was more common in other countries than in the United
States. An English version is still available, as an addition to Father Philip
Weller's translation of the 1962 Roman Ritual (although the rite did not form
part of that ritual itself.)
There is no prohibition against using that rite today, although
it has been replaced largely in the contemporary church by the Blessing of an
Engaged Couple from the church's Book of Blessings,
published in 1989. That newer rite celebrates in prayer a newly engaged couple
and asks the Lord to guide them as they prepare for marriage; it can be
celebrated by a priest, deacon or lay minister (sometimes by a parent of the
future bride or groom).
It includes scriptural readings — frequently from the 13th
chapter of Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians ("Love is patient, love
is kind … "). The engagement rings may be blessed during the ceremony, and
the celebrant prays:
"Lord God, the source of all love, the wise plan of your
providence has brought these young people together. As they prepare themselves
for the sacrament of marriage and pray for your grace, grant that, strengthened
by your blessing, they may grow in respect for one another and cherish each
other with a sincere love."
I would recommend that a couple use this newer blessing.
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