ALEXANDRIA — It took years, but Arturo and Maria Perez and their
children now receive Communion at Sunday Mass as a family.
For some time, the couple didn’t participate in the sacraments
because their marriage was not valid in the eyes of the church although they
had long been civilly married.
That changed this summer when the Perezes were married at their
parish, Good Shepherd Church in Alexandria, along with 20 other couples in “la
gran boda,” or “the big wedding” — a
convalidation ceremony.
Convalidation is taken from the Latin word meaning “to
firm up” or “to strengthen.”
The ceremony takes place when couples who have been civilly
married “want to make their wedding proper with the church or get a
blessing,” said Father Ramon Baez, one of two parochial vicars at the
parish who performed the ceremony.
Maria Perez described the ceremony as a blessing for her family.
She said her daughter Catherine had been asking her why she didn’t receive the
Eucharist at Mass.
“She was asking me all these questions and that’s when I
said I need to do something about it,” Maria Perez said.
The wedding ceremony was particularly emotional for her because
she had not received the Eucharist for more than 12 years.
Good Shepherd’s first convalidation ceremony occurred in 2002 and
continued every two years until 2016. The event was such a success that the
parish decided to have another one this year.
Leah Tenorio, parish director of Hispanic ministry, has noticed
that convalidation is helpful for couples and their children in building their
faith.
“I also work with the children who are preparing for first
Communion and oftentimes the children come to Mass with their parents, and if
they’re not in a valid marriage, the parents, they can’t go to Communion,”
Tenorio said. “It’s a blessing to see these couples that can go through
this process of convalidation and then everyone can come to Communion together
as a family.”
Receiving the sacraments together helps children understand their
significant role in church life, Father Baez said, and it also “strengthens the
bond of matrimony.”
The ceremony is important to the couples who want their marriage
to be valid in the church.
“For the first time, they will receive the sacrament of
matrimony and also holy Communion, which is a great joy for them,” Father
Baez said.
Preparing for convalidation takes more than six months. The
couples fill out a questionnaire called FOCCUS, or Facilitating Open Couple
Communication, Understanding and Study, and the responses are discussed with
the priest or deacon.
This conversation is designed to ensure that the couple is well
prepared for the sacrament of marriage and that the decision to validate their
marriage was freely made, Father Baez said.
“In other words, the individual has no serious emotional, or
psychological impediments. Nor is the person being forced to marry against
their will,” he explained.
Couples also are required to provide a series of documents,
including a marriage license and attend a weekend retreat on the sacrament of
matrimony. Father Baez said the retreat focuses on communication, compatibility
and marriage preparation.
The Perezes attended the retreat with 20 other couples, where
they participated in discussions and reaffirmed their commitment to marriage.
“It was great because they have all kinds of
conversations,” Maria Perez told Catholic News Service. “They talk
about everything.”
After the retreat, the couples gathered in front of the church’s
congregation to proclaim their faith and the intention to validate their
marriage.
A few weeks later, the couples found themselves making their vows
in front of family and friends.
Each couple had padrinos, or godparents, at the wedding. For the
Perezes, Ricardo Campos and Micaela Perez, Arturo’s sister, traveled from
Mexico the day before the ceremony. Maria Perez thinks that guidance from the
couple is beneficial because they have been married for more than 20 years.
“For me, it’s like oh my God, I look up to them,” she said.
The ceremony also is important to the godparents who can share
insights into the importance of building a strong marriage and witnessing their
love before God and the parish community.
“Since we’re Catholics and we support this consecration, I
think this is going to make this family stronger,” Campos said. “We
think that this is a good decision what these guys are making and we are here
for them to support them.”
“I wish them a lot of hope,” Micaela Perez said. “They
have a lot of growth in their lives and are expecting a lot of good things in
the future.”
During the ceremony, an oversized rosary was placed over the
heads of the couples. The tradition of “el lazo,” or “the loop,” is
popular among Mexican and Hispanic communities. Micaela Perez sees the rosary
as a bond between the two people getting married.
“It’s a symbol,” she said. “It reminds them that
they are going to be together for the rest of their life.”
