"Is it not enough," she asked me earnestly, "to be a woman at
home, caring for a family? Everyone around me has a job that
enables her to contribute to her family financially. Even
within the church, I'm bombarded every day with clarion calls
to do more, to give more. And here I am doing my best to feed
and clothe and care for these five children, reserving just
enough energy for the end of the day and the man that I
married. I feel like both the secular world and the faith
community are saying it is not nearly enough. "
I have an idea. In honor of the World Meeting on Families,
let's stop for a moment and consider the woman at home. Let's
see her, far from Philadelphia, and let's cup her face in our
hands and tell her, "Yes, you are enough."
You, sweet mama, who can barely hold your head up for the
nausea as you valiantly try to play with your toddler and you
wonder how in the world your heart will hold two. You are
enough. As your belly swells, so too, will your capacity to
love. You suspect it never again will be the same. And you're
right. All of you will grow and you will be enough.
You, in the carpool pickup lane - you hope you don't have to
get out of the car for some reason because you dashed out of
the house without your shoes on. You need to get home and
supervise homework and listen with your full attention to
hear what's really at the heart of the playground scuffle.
You'll have to do something with the only-half-thawed
hamburger, something that will stretch it to fill all these
rumbling bellies.
You, throwing that last load of laundry in the dryer before
climbing the stairs and at last relaxing into the arms of
your husband - you will notice the crease between his brows.
You will reach up to rub it away, and you will ask why it's
there. You will absorb his news and try to ease the ache from
his shoulders and from his soul. You will be the soft place
to land.
You will remember the orthodontist, and you will hear bedtime
prayers. You will sign permission slips, clean out the
refrigerator and gather hair into ponytails to tie with bows.
You will make a house into a home.
And you will make a home into a domestic church.
You will change the world.
You think that in all this talk about family and marriage in
the church, you have been forgotten. You have not.
Your role is essential. The quiet work at home learning to do
those things which nurture a family physically, and so
minister to your dear ones spiritually, is work done for the
glory of God.
At the United Nations Fourth World Conference on Women, Pope
John Paul II said:
"No response to women's issues can ignore women's role in the
family or take lightly the fact that every new life is
totally entrusted to the protection and care of the woman
carrying it in her womb, (Cf. "Evangelium Vitae," No. 58). In
order to respect this natural order of things, it is
necessary to counter the misconception that the role of
motherhood is oppressive to women and that a commitment to
her family, particularly to her children, prevents a woman
from reaching personal fulfillment, and women as a whole from
having an influence in society. It is a disservice not only
to children, but also to women and society itself, when a
woman is made to feel guilty for wanting to remain in the
home and nurture and care for her children. A mother's
presence in the family, so critical to the stability and
growth of that basic unity of society, should instead be
recognized, applauded and supported in every possible way. By
the same token, society needs to call husbands and fathers to
their family responsibilities and ought to strive for a
situation in which they will not be forced by economic
circumstances to move away from the home in search of work."
Your presence, so critical to the stability and growth of
your family, is critical to the stability and growth of our
culture, of our world. You have been entrusted with shoring
up the most basic unit of society. On your shoulders does its
foundation rest. Step into that role with your head held
high.
Shoes are optional.
Foss, whose website is elizabethfoss.com, is a freelance
writer from Northern Virginia.