"We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence,
and privacy, and therefore starved for meditation and true
friendship."
Those words were published in C. S. Lewis' The Weight of
Glory in 1949. If the world was starved for solitude and
silence and privacy then - before the internet and ubiquitous
computers we carry in our pockets - can you imagine how
emaciated we are now? We live in a culture where something
didn't happen unless it was captured in an image and tweeted,
texted, snapped, or posted; then it must be liked, favorited
and commented upon. Even the quiet moments are offered up for
public discourse. And we do this all in the names of
connection and friendship. There is a fine line between
community and the gluttony of oversharing. Our survival as a
civilization demands that we find that line and walk it
carefully.
True friendship is found in the communication between souls,
in understanding the deepest parts of oneself and one's
friend. That exquisite, careful communication is true of
friendship between people and of friendship with God.
Friendship requires comfortable silence in privacy and
stillness. We are intended to live in community. We need one
another to live and to grow. There is no doubt about it.
However, it is in the silence - away from the voices of
others - that we are able to examine ourselves and to learn
what Jesus offers us, what He intends for our growth, both as
His friend and as a friend to others.
When one experiences a near-panicked need to run and to tell
and to talk and to post, that's a sure sign that it's time to
schedule some quiet. If you are living only in a crowd,
moving from one group of people to another, chatting
incessantly with whomever will listen, posting picture after
picture and constantly clicking hither and yon, beware. That
is an earnest way to put distance between who you truly are
and the people you'd have as friends, and the good God who
waits to meet you in the quiet places. It is very easy to
avoid God. Similarly, it is very easy to avoid genuine
friendship with another person.
Lewis ponders, "How then, it may be asked, can we reach or
avoid Him? The avoiding, in many times and places, has proved
so difficult that a very large part of the human race failed
to achieve it. But in our own time and place, it is extremely
easy. Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of
thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on
money, sex, status, health and (above all) on your own
grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of
sedation. If you must read books, select them very carefully.
But you'd be safer to stick to the papers. You'll find the
advertisements helpful; especially those with a sexy or a
snobbish appeal."
Some of the loneliest people are the ones making the most
noise, banging furiously on pots and pans and blaring
trumpets in order to keep people from being still and silent
in their presence. They are afraid. They touch up and filter
and offer themselves for public display, all the while
terrified that someone will see them for who they are. They
fill themselves with the noise of the `net, lest they hear
His still, small voice and be shaken by His admonition.
Summertime offers opportunity. With the changing of the
season comes the chance to change a practice, to develop a
new way of doing things. Summer offers some cultural support
to those who want to slow down a bit, move into the lane that
isn't whirring with activity and numbing interaction. Seize
that slowness, and be very wary of filling it with more time
engaging in the mind-numbing and soul-starving practice of
filling quiet spaces with social buzzing. Instead, let this
be a summer of slow connection and sacred spaces, a summer of
quiet stillness and listening for still, small voices.
Foss, whose website is elizabethfoss.com, is a
freelance writer from Northern Virginia.