Laraine Bennett and her family used to live in a 4,000-square-foot suburban “McMansion” in Bristow. All that space came in handy with four kids at home, but after they were grown and gone, her husband, Art, pointed out that the two of them were using only about 10 percent of the huge house. The rest was just storage space for all the “stuff” they didn’t need anymore.
They decided it was time to downsize — but she found it more difficult than expected.
“I had to do it for my parents, and knew that if we do it, our kids won’t have to do it. But it was so hard — I realized how attached I was, and how much stuff we had,” she said.
Bennett, a longtime writer with a master’s degree in philosophy, said she realized there were spiritual virtues to be gained through the practice of letting go and living with less, and she wanted to explore and write about them. “I needed to grow in these virtues,” she said.
Along the way, she turned for inspiration to the “little way” of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, whose autobiography, “The Story of a Soul,” she had read many times. The result of her exploration is her new book, “The Little Way of Living with Less,” published by Sophia Institute Press.
The book weaves together reflections on Thérèse’s life and spirituality, as well as personal stories from Bennett’s downsizing journey and her musings on how challenging it can be for Americans steeped in a super-sized consumer culture.
“Thérèse was a modern saint who grew up in a beautiful home and understood the allure of material things,” Bennett said. Yet Thérèse realized, at a very young age, that “the material things do not matter.”
The book is both spiritual and practical. Each chapter focuses on a theological virtue relevant to downsizing — detachment, humility, trust, charity, simplicity and more. Chapters also include reflection questions, as well as tips from Bennett’s friend, Jacquelyn Dupuy, a professional organizer who shares a devotion to St. Thérèse. “Clutter is just a visual representation of delayed decisions,” Dupuy writes. She recommends focusing on one space at a time to keep from feeling overwhelmed.
Bennett points to research showing “our society is not more happy as a result of all of our things. Clutter itself makes us anxious. Our possessions begin to possess us. There is a sense of being tied down, and we are not free to do the things we really want to do.”
As we learn to detach our affections from material things we also are “decluttering our souls,” and making more room for God in our lives, she says in the book.
She and Art, a marriage and family therapist who retired two years ago after a decade as president and CEO of diocesan Catholic Charities, came to the realization that “the stuff we accumulated, the long commute, and the big empty house were unnecessary attachments that had accumulated to the point of becoming roadblocks in our own spiritual life,” she writes. “We thought we needed all these things — and letting go opened up the door for more interior freedom.”
They now live in a cozy two-bedroom condo in Fairlington and have less house maintenance and more time to spend with their kids and eight grandchildren. Bennett says she doesn’t need an office; she writes at the kitchen table. And they can walk half a mile to Blessed Sacrament Church in nearby Alexandria, where they are parishioners. Being able to walk to church was one of their goals as they imagined a simpler lifestyle.
Downsizing can seem overwhelming, but as we learn from Thérèse’s “little way,” every small action makes a difference. “There is a sense of peace when we detach from so many things,” Bennett said.
“Things stand in for a way to feel secure or in control. But what we should really be doing is letting go and trusting in God.”
Find out more
Laraine Bennett also has a new board game, “Know Thyself: The Game of Temperaments,” a companion to books she co-authored with her husband, Art Bennett, including “The Temperament God Gave You.” Go to sophiainstitute.com.
