Nov. 12 Mt 25:1–13
The 10 virgins in this Sunday’s parable have one thing in common: They all want to be there. They are all waiting for the bridegroom’s arrival; they all want to see him. But five were foolish and five were wise. The difference was not in their desire; it was in their preparedness. The foolish ones brought no flasks of oil for their lamps, while the wise ones did. The wise virgins took the practical steps to ensure that their desire would be fulfilled.
We, too, want to see the Bridegroom — not just the bridegroom of a particular wedding party, but Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom of our souls. But desire is not enough. This parable illustrates for us that we must have practical wisdom, and that means taking practical, concrete steps. I want to see the Bridegroom, but do I have enough oil for my lamp?
Any major endeavor requires a plan. Things do not just come together automatically. Having a plan and following it indicates a steady, deliberate, prolonged effort. This is the stuff of perseverance. It is easy to say to yourself, “I’ll pray whenever I get around to it,” or “I’ll pray when I feel like it.” This is a recipe for disaster. With this attitude, it is most likely that you will never get around to it. When you feel like praying, you won’t think to pray. And when you think of praying, you won’t feel like it. This is where having a plan is crucial.
And that plan has to be concrete. Vague aspirations are where things start, but they have to become concrete or they will not go anywhere. You may say that you want to pray more. Good. But when are you going to pray? Where are you going to pray? How are you going to pray, or what specific practices will you take up?
The plan should also be realistic. It should be something that you can reasonably expect yourself to be able to do. Unrealistic plans of life set us up for disappointment and discouragement. It would be better to plan to pray for five minutes every day and to do that faithfully than to plan to pray for four hours every day, to get discouraged, and then to give up prayer entirely. Maybe you start small, and when you show yourself to be faithful in those small things, you increase what you set out to do. In this way, you gradually put in place a concrete, realistic plan of life.
The church gives us the basic pillar of any plan of life: the holy Mass on Sundays and holy days. That is non-negotiable. Regular confession is another important pillar to have in place. We should go at least once a year, but it is strongly recommended to go once a month. Beyond these, there is some flexibility with what we do and how often we do it. Here are a few suggestions. Maybe you are able to attend daily Mass on certain days of the week, maybe even every day. Make a visit to the Blessed Sacrament on a regular basis. Begin each day with a morning offering and end it with an examination of conscience. Pray the Angelus at noon and at 6 p.m. Take up certain Marian devotions, especially the rosary. Dedicate some time each day to spiritual reading, which provides fuel for your prayer.
Of great importance is the practice of mental prayer. As St. Teresa of Avila explains, “Mental prayer in my opinion is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.” Carve out time each day — whether 15 minutes, half an hour, an hour, even just five minutes — simply to talk to God. Talk about what? St. Josemaría Escrivá answers, “About him, and yourself: joys, sorrows, successes and failures, great ambitions, daily worries — even your weaknesses! And acts of thanksgiving and petitions — and love and reparation. In short, to get to know him and to get to know yourself — ‘to get acquainted!’ ”
To get acquainted with the Bridegroom, even before he comes — this is what it means to be prepared with oil for our lamps.
Fr. Oetjen works in the diocesan tribunal with residence at St. Agnes Church in Arlington.
Disconnected spirituality