Just as Lent calls us to repent, it calls us to forgive. As we live out these days and we take a good look at the state of our souls and at the tendency toward sin that challenges us, we begin to see clearly the sins of other people. You will recognize people in your life in the descriptions of how sin manifests itself.
It’s easier to see other people’s sins. Sometimes, we’re just seeing the reflections of our own souls. Other times, we do see someone else’s sins and we’re called to forgive, often without the other person even acknowledging his fault or asking to be forgiven.
In this fallen world, even the people we love act with enmity toward us; they hurt us, falling into the category of people Jesus was talking about when he said, “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Mt 5:44)
You can be persecuted right there in your own Christian home. Happens all the time. We are sinners living with sinners.
And Jesus calls us to bless in the mess. “Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called — that you might inherit a blessing.” (1 Pt 3:9)
For the next six weeks, as you live in step with the liturgy, you will see places where you have sinned, but you will also recognize the sins of others. Every day, let go of those sins committed against you and forgive them. If you don’t, they’ll choke you. Every day, before you close your eyes at night, forgive the sins. Hopefully, in God’s time, you will have a chance to bring about greater healing with the one who offends you. But for now, let go of the grip his sin has on you by forgiving it.
St. Paul calls us to cover one another with love, to remember that “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor 13:7) When we graciously forgive without being asked, the sin — unrepented — doesn’t go away. But it is covered in love and endured with grace.
God enters in. You can’t erase the unrepented sin. You can’t change the heart of that sinner. All you can do is act in love to bear all things. And that’s a lot. Many a marriage has been saved — and even made very happy — because spouses seek the grace to bear all things.
But God…
God can envelop you in love. He can work in your heart to return good for evil, without being manipulative. He can work in your heart to help you recognize your own culpability. And then, he can give you the grace to truly and fully repent and know his complete forgiveness — the utter obliteration of your sins.
You can’t do that for someone else, but you can pray that God will. While you wait for him to work in someone else’s heart, you can know that he is already working in yours, loving your graciousness, delighted to see you extend goodness, even to sinners — especially to sinners. We enter into his passion every time we forgive without asking for forgiveness. “When he was abused, he did not return abuse; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.” (1 Pt 2:23)
God knows the sins of other people that hurt you. Maybe it’s time to surrender them to him. God understands your pain and he is ministering to it right now. Let that be enough. Take his crown of thorns upon your own head, know it pierced him for your sins, but know also that he felt the pain of the sins that hurt you.
And he chose to shoulder the cross for them: To put on that heavy load — love rough-hewn from heavy timber — so that you can forgive and bear all things, and he can forgive and truly make them new.
