If one were to survey 50 random people with the question “What is the greatest love a person can experience?”, the common answer today would almost certainly be romantic love or some idea of marriage. And yet, in our Gospel today, Jesus gives us a different answer that might just turn our world upside down. Imagine a news anchor passing Jesus the mic on the streets of Jerusalem. “Complete the sentence: Greater love has no man than this … ”
God’s honest truth, straight from the source, we hear: “ … to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
What is the greatest love in the universe? It’s friendship expressed through self-sacrifice and self-gift. That fact bears repeating: the greatest form of love is friendship. Furthermore, the greatest mode of expressing friendship is through “laying down one’s life” for our friends.
When we reflect on this a bit, we can reach some very interesting conclusions. For example:
We know that God is love. The Bible tells us so. But how does this square with friendship and self-gift? A basic outline: We believe in one God in three Persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Each person gives the totality of themselves to the others in an eternal community of friendship. The Trinity is the deepest love because it is a community of total self-gift. Thus, when Jesus tells us something about the greatest love, we shouldn’t be surprised that we see a reflection of God in that love.
Moreover, we know that we’re made in the image and likeness of God, and thus in the image of an eternal communion of friendship. As such, we all desire to be loved and to be included. What’s more, we’re fascinated by the world around us and its little wonders, little loves that seem to hint at more profound loves still to be found. But how do we get to that deeper love? How do we find and receive the love that will really satisfy our heart and soul? Only by giving ourselves away sacrificially in friendship.
Not for nothing did Vatican II, and John Paul II, say: “Man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.” So often, we try to find fulfillment by filling ourselves up and hoping that material or social fullness will attract others. Yet, the world is full of terribly lonely people rich in money or followers on social media. Jesus tells us that the way to our heart’s desire is the opposite path. Want to know who you really are? Love God and love others sacrificially, make a gift of yourself.
All this is why our minds and hearts place such a high premium on those who humbly serve the poor, or on the soldier who puts his life on the line to rescue his brothers-in-arms. Greater love has no man than this … Also, it’s why successful marriages are always successful friendships. And it’s also great news for those called to the vocation of celibacy through Priesthood, religious life, or as a celibate layperson. The deepest loves are not off-limits to those who sacrifice romantic and physical love for the good of Christ and his church.
One should add: All this has to be measured and weighed by our reason. That’s partially why Christ also links love to commands and commands us to love. Love and friendship are only true if they’re ordered toward the authentic good of those we seek to serve. Sacrifice and self-gift for something unworthy or bad isn’t love or friendship, but foolishness.
And yet, Christ commands us to love. He reminds us that love is an outward looking way of life, a decision to make and a habit to form that heals and lifts up our heart. If we want to be fully human, fully alive, we have to give ourselves away, totally, starting with God and then those made in his image, seeking to serve as friends.
Fr. Miserendino is chaplain at the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg.
Christ commands us to love
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If one were to survey 50 random people with the question “What is the greatest love a person can experience?”, the common answer today would almost certainly be romantic love or some idea of marriage. And yet, in our Gospel today, Jesus gives us a different answer that might just turn our world upside down. Imagine a news anchor passing Jesus the mic on the streets of Jerusalem. “Complete the sentence: Greater love has no man than this … ”
God’s honest truth, straight from the source, we hear: “ … to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
What is the greatest love in the universe? It’s friendship expressed through self-sacrifice and self-gift. That fact bears repeating: the greatest form of love is friendship. Furthermore, the greatest mode of expressing friendship is through “laying down one’s life” for our friends.
When we reflect on this a bit, we can reach some very interesting conclusions. For example:
We know that God is love. The Bible tells us so. But how does this square with friendship and self-gift? A basic outline: We believe in one God in three Persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Each person gives the totality of themselves to the others in an eternal community of friendship. The Trinity is the deepest love because it is a community of total self-gift. Thus, when Jesus tells us something about the greatest love, we shouldn’t be surprised that we see a reflection of God in that love.
Moreover, we know that we’re made in the image and likeness of God, and thus in the image of an eternal communion of friendship. As such, we all desire to be loved and to be included. What’s more, we’re fascinated by the world around us and its little wonders, little loves that seem to hint at more profound loves still to be found. But how do we get to that deeper love? How do we find and receive the love that will really satisfy our heart and soul? Only by giving ourselves away sacrificially in friendship.
Not for nothing did Vatican II, and John Paul II, say: “Man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.” So often, we try to find fulfillment by filling ourselves up and hoping that material or social fullness will attract others. Yet, the world is full of terribly lonely people rich in money or followers on social media. Jesus tells us that the way to our heart’s desire is the opposite path. Want to know who you really are? Love God and love others sacrificially, make a gift of yourself.
All this is why our minds and hearts place such a high premium on those who humbly serve the poor, or on the soldier who puts his life on the line to rescue his brothers-in-arms. Greater love has no man than this … Also, it’s why successful marriages are always successful friendships. And it’s also great news for those called to the vocation of celibacy through Priesthood, religious life, or as a celibate layperson. The deepest loves are not off-limits to those who sacrifice romantic and physical love for the good of Christ and his church.
One should add: All this has to be measured and weighed by our reason. That’s partially why Christ also links love to commands and commands us to love. Love and friendship are only true if they’re ordered toward the authentic good of those we seek to serve. Sacrifice and self-gift for something unworthy or bad isn’t love or friendship, but foolishness.
And yet, Christ commands us to love. He reminds us that love is an outward looking way of life, a decision to make and a habit to form that heals and lifts up our heart. If we want to be fully human, fully alive, we have to give ourselves away, totally, starting with God and then those made in his image, seeking to serve as friends.
Fr. Miserendino is chaplain at the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg.
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