Karla Paulina Martinez finds it difficult to believe that in five short years, God transformed her life from a deeply unhappy, liberal agnostic to a beaming graduate about to enter religious life.
Her journey, with all its unexpected moments of grace, was guided by a yearning for truth and a desire to find home.
Martinez left the church as a young teen, influenced by harmful and deceitful ideologies. Her co-workers at a self-proclaimed “inclusive” coffee shop encouraged a left-leaning lifestyle. Soon she was absorbed in liberal activism. She became agnostic and adopted a self-destructive new life.
“It becomes your entire personality,” Martinez said. “My identity was so wrapped up in ‘being liberal,’ and once you accept part of it, they’re not happy until you’ve accepted all of it.”
The changes caused much tension within her family, characterized by bitter fights. Despite this, her mother refused to give up hope. She continued to present Martinez with opportunities to find her way back to the faith, much to her daughter’s annoyance.
Years passed, and Martinez’s lifestyle came to a hard stop after a difficult falling out with her circle. Despite their promises of tolerance and love, they turned their backs on her, leaving her feeling devastatingly lost and empty. In the midst of this unhappiness, she agreed to attend Mass with her mother.
“It was a Holy Spirit moment,” Martinez said. “I don’t even know why I said it. But before I even realized what I was saying, my mom was shoving me out the door before I could change my mind.”
Martinez laughs to recall attending Mass for the first time in years, sporting a pink pixie cut, nose ring and tattoos, beside her happy mother. The Mass had a profound effect on her, and though still resistant, her reversion was sparked.
Just as it was gaining momentum, however, the world went into lockdown in 2020. Though difficult, it led to the next crucial step. She accepted a job working at a summer camp at Sacred Heart of Jesus Church in Winchester, alongside several students from Christendom College in Front Royal. Their confidence in their Catholic faith intrigued her. During this time, one sleepless night, Martinez looked up Christendom and felt a connection to the college’s founder, Warren Carroll.
“He was a convert,” Martinez said. “I felt like he got me.”
Martinez was struck by Carroll’s mantra, “Truth Exists, the Incarnation Happened.” After years of searching for truth, and without fully processing why she was doing it, Martinez applied and was accepted. Everything fell into place in a bewildering summer of grace and providence. Martinez was now a Crusader.
Her first semester was difficult. She was overwhelmed with life on campus. She kept to herself and struggled to join the community. Despite this, she was increasingly drawn to the academic life and exploring the “reasons why” of Catholicism. John Cuddeback’s ethics course especially helped her persevere through her first year.
“What is on campus, in the people, the professors, is something so transformative,” Martinez said. “These people are so whole, and it made me realize how broken I was. It made me want to be like them.”
Martinez’s newfound confidence helped her step out of her shell, finding immense joy in the community. Her love of coffee led to volunteering at Christendom’s Sacred Grounds coffee shop. As she continued to heal and grow, she was suddenly confronted on Holy Thursday of 2022 with a calling, after listening to a homily about how there is no lack of vocations, only a lack of responses.
The words felt meant for her. The feeling lingered and she began to seriously question what it meant. She remembered two sisters who gave a talk on identity at the Sacred Heart summer camp years ago, and the impression their gray habits and bright, blue scapulars left. She was especially struck by their names: Sister Splendor of the Cross and Sister Spouse of the Holy Spirit. Martinez tracked down the order, the Institute of the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará, and visited them in Washington.
The experience was magnetic. As soon as she walked in, she knew with certainty that she had finally found what her heart had been longing for.
Martinez met the mother superior, Mother Mary of the Crucified, who, over the course of a long conversation, used the phrase, “The Incarnation Happened,” echoing Carroll’s words years prior. Thrilled, Martinez shared her desire to join immediately, but Mother Crucified encouraged her to finish her final semester and graduate, expressing confidence that the college’s environment would nurture her vocation.
“She said I was at Christendom,” Martinez said. “So, my vocation was safe, and I should graduate first.”
The order is the sister branch of the Religious Family of the Incarnate Word established in 1984. They embrace the apostolic adventure — to go where no one else wants to go. In addition to poverty, chastity, and obedience, each sister also takes a fourth vow to Mary and accepts a Marian title, making their name a perpetual litany of praise.
Martinez is grateful for Christendom not only for her education but her holistic formation as a person. She could have read the books on her own, studied at another college, but nowhere else could she have had the life-changing experiences she had at Christendom.
“Our rational capacity cannot flourish outside of a culture and these last four years have taught me just how true that is,” she said. “It wasn’t just the classes; it was the movie nights, the coffee dates, the Thomistic dinners and laughter; it was debates, office hours, Strongholds, pub nights, and Dorm Wars. It was the community coming together for Mass, holy hours, and prayer … It was everything.”
Martinez graduated last May with a bachelor’s in English language and literature and spent the summer preparing and fundraising to pay off miscellaneous debt. Christendom forgives the outstanding debt of any student who commits to religious life, which Martinez credits as allowing her to join the order in the fall, as opposed to delaying another year.
The journey Martinez started so long ago, as a teenager restlessly searching for truth, led her to Christendom where she encountered truth, and finally to the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará, where she found home.
Youngman is publications and projects manager at Christendom College.
