Sarah first began questioning her gender identity when she was in middle school. Afraid to tell anyone, she kept her struggle with gender dysphoria a secret when she went to Catholic high school.
“I was trying to figure it out by myself for the most part, because I didn’t know how to talk about it to other people, because I didn’t know how people would see it,” she said.
Gender dysphoria, or the experience of discomfort, anxiety or distress with one’s sex or body, has been growing among young people over the last two decades. According to a 2021 Gallup poll, 1.8 percent of Generation Z adults (those born in the late 90s to early 2010s) identify as transgender, as opposed to 0.2 percent of Generation X adults (those born in the late 60s to early 80s): a 900 percent increase.
What is gender dysphoria?
Dr. Frank Moncher, a psychologist and coordinator for diocesan victim assistance, said gender dysphoria is the current diagnostic label for severe anxiety and depression that produces distress or confusion over one’s sex or gender identity.
Moncher has practiced psychology for 30 years, 13 with the Arlington diocese, and since 2021 has helped to run a ministry for parents of young people struggling with gender dysphoria. Working with him is Father Stephen J. Schultz, chaplain of St. Paul VI Catholic High School in Chantilly and chaplain of the Courage apostolate and EnCourage ministry — ministries that provide spiritual support for people with same-sex attraction and their families.
From his experience in the ’80s and ’90s, Moncher said that gender dysphoria typically emerged among young boys and healed with empathetic coaching from parents, reaffirming the goodness of their child’s sex. But in the 2000s, Moncher said, “This idea of identifying as something that’s different from your biological sex all of a sudden becomes something possible, and then something to be celebrated (in secular culture), which is where we are now.”
In today’s culture, Father Schultz said the definition of gender has changed. “Gender has become popularly understood as a way of defining and understanding oneself in relation to masculine and feminine stereotypes. However, personality traits, preferences and the degree to which one conforms to stereotypes do not change or determine sex.”
In some cases, individuals with severe gender dysphoria undergo hormonal treatment or surgeries, called “gender affirming care” in popular culture. Moncher said that rather than focusing on healing the internal anxiety of the patient, gender affirming care causes the patient to focus or obsess more over the disconnect they feel between their mind and body. From Moncher’s experience, with proper counseling and therapy, gender dysphoria can gradually heal without drastic medical interventions.
As more studies are conducted on the long-term effects of gender dysphoria and medical interventions, church officials have published several statements on care for persons experiencing gender dysphoria. The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops published a statement in March for Catholic medical professionals on treating persons with gender dysphoria. At their June meeting in Orlando, the USCCB also requested that the Committee on Doctrine update the Ethical and Religious Directives for Health Care Services section on the “Professional-Patient Relationship” in accord with the March statement. In 2021, Bishop Michael F. Burbidge issued “A Catechesis on the Human Person and Gender Ideology,” urging the faithful to approach those who struggle with gender confusion with compassion while upholding church teaching on the dignity of the human person.
“Denigration or bullying of any person, including those struggling with gender dysphoria, is to be rejected as completely incompatible with the Gospel,” Bishop Burbidge wrote. “In this sensitive area of identity, however, there is a great danger of misguided charity and false compassion … The faithful should avoid using ‘gender-affirming’ terms or pronouns that convey approval of or reinforce the person’s rejection of the truth.”
The impact of social media
In addition to news media, studies have demonstrated that social media negatively affects the mental health of young people during the formative years of adolescence.
“Social media and the culture are ‘all-in’ with regard to gender ideology. It has an enormous influence on young people,” Father Schultz said. “Public schools follow and reinforce the prevailing, though erroneous, vision of the human person.”
Mary Rice Hasson, a parishioner of St. Veronica Church in Chantilly, helps lead the Person and Identity Project as a fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington. According to the Person and Identity Project, social media content promoting hormonal or surgical treatments to questioning teens has increased dramatically in recent years. Hasson said that exposure to “gender transition” content has a devastating impact on teens’ mental health and their sense of self-worth.
“Social media platforms are saturated in gender ideology. Influencers offer false but attractive messages that prey on the vulnerabilities of lonely or troubled young people. The research is clear: Social media is terrible for teen mental health, especially for girls,” Hasson said.
The impact of social media often leaves some anxious adolescents questioning their identity, and in some cases considering gender transition.
While social media may present a bleak picture, Father Schultz remains optimistic. “I’ve recently seen a change in how younger people understand gender dysphoria,” he said. With a thorough explanation of the gift of the body and the dignity of the human person, young people begin to feel more affirmed in their identity, he said.
Parents’ role
If a child shows signs of or outrightly rejects their biological sex, how should parents respond?
“I think the most important thing is to keep an open mind about what is said, what’s being discussed,” Sarah said. Often, parents who see stories in the media of medical or surgical attempts to change a person’s sex then tend to assume that their struggling child has already made a decision to transition or make drastic changes, she said.
“For a lot of people, that’s not the case. In my case, it wasn’t,” she said. “It was just: ‘I feel uncomfortable in my own body and the way things are changing.’ So I think it’s very important to not jump to conclusions and to hear what the other person has to say.”
If a child approaches his or her parents with concerns about their gender identity, Moncher said, “This is not a time for tough love.” While distress may be a natural response, parents should be comforted by their child’s openness and trust, he said. From these initial conversations, Moncher suggests parents react with compassion, take their child’s distress seriously and affirm the child as their beloved son or daughter.
Parents may alter their approach if their child approaches them firmly convinced of a new gender identity and seeks approval of physical changes to his or her body, he said. Instead of panicking and inadvertently isolating children further in their asserted identity, “your duty as a parent is to honor their dignity.”
Moncher said that, to counterbalance a child’s assertions, parents should affirm their love for their child and state that he or she doesn’t have to change to be loved by others. But parents may also add that out of respect for their child’s human dignity, they cannot approve of changes that would degrade the dignity of his or her body. Parents may also emphasize that they would like to help find ways to help bring about peace for their child while supporting their human dignity.
Navigating these struggles with a child may take time, Hasson added. “Don’t be rushed into a response — love, listen, ask, and then, at the right time, guide, always toward the truth,” she said. “Parents need to assess the influences on their child and be willing to set boundaries for the child’s own good, whether that means limiting social media or the use of a smartphone or rechanneling how and with whom the child spends their time.”
Moncher said parents should strive to remain in relationship with their child, no matter what the outcome of the conversation. Communication remains essential.
How should friends respond?
While Catholic peers of those struggling with gender dysphoria are well-versed in the faith, Hasson said, “they face a daunting task: to be faithful to the truth amid a culture that will cancel, shame or harass them for believing the truth. They need encouragement.”
Peers should listen to a friend’s story and try to understand his or her perspective, said Father Schultz. “Accepting them means accepting that this is how they have come to understand themselves, this is what they are dealing with in their life and (in) their sense of self-worth. It doesn’t mean accepting that what they believe about themselves is true.”
Throughout high school, Sarah said her friends provided her with much support while she struggled with gender dysphoria and allowed her to navigate through her emotions and struggles with them.
“A big part of coming to terms with who I am and who I believe myself to be was becoming closer with my faith … and realizing that the two things, they don’t contradict each other,” she said. “You can struggle with a part of your identity but still be a good Catholic.”
Attending daily Mass helped Sarah find peace. “That routine became a habit for me, it was like (my) rock, basically. Because anything else that happened (that) day — I could do poorly on a quiz, I could struggle in a class — I could have morning Mass the next day, (which) is never going to change.”
For young Catholics struggling with their identity or gender dysphoria, Sarah said, “I think the most important part is to be honest with yourself and what you’re feeling.”
While she is still navigating life as a young adult, Sarah now feels more at peace with herself and her identity.
“I realized that my first priority was my faith, and if I put that first, everything else will fall into place.”
Find out more
For Bishop Burbidge’s “A Catechesis on the Human Person and Gender Ideology” go to bit.ly/ DioceseGenderIdeology.
For the Encourage ministry, contact [email protected].
For the Person and Identity Project, go to personandidentity.com.
