Before packing up for another much-anticipated summer vacation, John Cuddeback suggests a different way of thinking about the potential and purpose of vacations.
Much more than simply relaxation and fun, a vacation offers “practice for life,” said Cuddeback, a professor of philosophy at Christendom College in Front Royal who shares his reflections on intentional Catholic living through his LifeCraft website and YouTube channel.
“It’s actually a time where very important, rich, and serious things can happen, such as deepening relationships, and cultivating good habits that carry back to our life at home,” said Cuddeback.
He encourages parents to resist the temptation to overplan or make the vacation feel like school. “From a parental viewpoint, let’s think about how we can make this as enjoyable as possible, and also an enriching spiritual experience,” said Cuddeback. “Those two things actually go together very well. Realizing that not all recreation is created equal, there are some ways of recreating that are more banal and frivolous, and there are others that can have a deeper richness and be a pathway to a deeper personal connection.”
A day after returning from a weeklong beach vacation with 16 family members, Cuddeback said one moment that stood out was reading excerpts from a Patrick McManus book together on the beach. “He’s an outdoorsman comic writer from the last generation,” he said. “We were all laughing together and if it gets interrupted, it’s not a big deal. Obviously you’re not going to read Shakespeare with a bunch of little kids.” And depending on the ages present, don’t overlook “fun history, excerpts from great literature, and comic sketches and essays.”
Other cherished memories for Cuddeback were praying the rosary with four generations on the beach and enjoying that special time when all the adults gathered in the evening after the children had gone to bed.
Connection is the key. He warns against taking our isolating habits with us on vacation. “Many of our habits, both young and old, are going to take us away from one another, into our devices or a video game,” said Cuddeback. “We have to think: What can we do that will bring us together in an enjoyable and also enriching way, and that’s what we need to be doing in our homes anyway.”
A father of six, Cuddeback talks about “intentionality” as a vital aspect of family life. “This is what LifeCraft is especially about,” he said. “It’s about helping people make their home lives richer where people want to be together, drawing us in to make connections when there’s so many forces pulling people away from their homes.”
As contradictory as it sounds, the philosophy professor who makes philosophy accessible to average people, said “planned spontaneity” creates strong bonds, so three cheers for board games and cards. “We found a game called “Wits and Wagers” that’s really easy to set up and it’s just a fun game.” Tried and true board games such as Trivial Pursuit, Scattergories, Tribond, Apples to Apples, Codenames and Password are Cuddeback family favorites.
“The art of family games may seem old fashioned but it’s almost a lost art,” he said. “How about a little storytelling? So, let’s say, ‘This evening, we’re going to share some things from the past.’ It can end up being something richer than people realize.”
The stereotype of dad on vacation, kicking back in his lounge chair while mom does all the planning also needs to be challenged. “Just as in daily life in the home, dad’s involvement is key,” said Cuddeback. “It signals to the children, and to his wife, that he is fully invested and that he prioritizes his time with them.”
Don’t overthink every minute, but Cuddeback is certain that vacations offer much more than advertised. “I think our expectations should be high but also reasonable,” he said. “We can take a spiritual approach: ‘Lord help us to make this vacation a truly good experience that gives us some blessing to take home with us.’ If we consciously put it in his hands, our vacation will be a blessing in ways we perhaps would not have expected.”
