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What is an annulment?

Meghan Bartlett | Catholic Herald Editorial Assistant

Divorced Catholics can petition the diocesan tribunal to determine if their marriage bond is valid. ADOBESTOCK

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Cherie Sherrier was 27 years into her marriage when she found herself praying to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. She recently had found out her husband and the father of their three children was having an affair. Intent on saving the marriage, she turned to Our Lady in a popular devotion for those in complicated or difficult situations.

“I was willing to forgive him and move on,” she said. She wanted to try counseling, but “in his mind, the marriage was over.”

As she continued to pray the devotion, a friend told her, “Those knots will be undone, but maybe not in the way you were hoping.”

As issues within the marriage continued, a family friend convinced her husband to do a Retrouvaille retreat for spouses facing difficulties. Sherrier went into the retreat ready to make things work. Instead she discovered that her relationship was over.

After a nine-month legal process she described as “excruciating” that included a 12-hour mediation with attorneys, the divorce was finalized. Recovering from the ordeal, she felt there was still an unresolved aspect.

“In the eyes of the church, I’m still married,” she said.

She approached her pastor, Father Dennis W. Kleinmann of St. Veronica Church in Chantilly, who had supported her during the divorce, and began the process of petitioning the diocese for a declaration of nullity, commonly known as an annulment.

After completing the forms, Father Kleinmann submitted the petition on her behalf last month to the diocesan tribunal. There, the petition will land on the desk of Father Robert J. Rippy, judicial vicar, who oversees all annulments for the diocese.

Annulment process

Annulments make up about 95 percent of the work of the tribunal, Father Rippy said. Last year, the tribunal received 106 cases, down from past years, but the numbers are going up again. In the last decade, the office has seen some changes, including digitizing the required forms and no longer charging a fee, a Vatican directive in 2015.

As judicial vicar, Father Rippy reviews all the petitions, assigns judges and sets the grounds for the annulment.

“What happens in an annulment process is the marriage is put on trial. It’s a court,” said Father Rippy. “The grounds are what we are trying to resolve. What was the controversy that was going on in the marriage.”

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that a valid marriage bond is indissoluble: “Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God’s fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom.”

In an annulment, the church examines whether or not a valid marriage bond exists.

Father Rippy said common grounds for annulment are lack of due discretion, such as immaturity on the part of one or both parties or pressure from their families to marry; intention against having children; and psychological incapacity. In the case of the latter, the tribunal would assign a clinician to the case to assess the psychological and/or psychiatric health of the parties involved.

“What (the church) really wants to know is about your childhood and upbringing,” said Sherrier, the engagement, any traumatic events that may have happened, anything that could have impacted the spouses’ abilities to fulfill the requirements for a valid marriage.

Every case is assigned a three-judge panel, one of whom is always a priest, and a defender of the bond of marriage. The person seeking the annulment, known as the petitioner, is summoned for a deposition. The ex-spouse, or respondent, is notified of the petition and invited to participate. Church law requires that the respondent be notified of the petition but does not require the respondent’s involvement.

The process includes the deposition and testimony from at least three witnesses selected by the petitioner.

“The onus is on the petitioner to prove the invalidity of the marriage,” said Father Rippy. He said the decision is based on facts, not feelings. “It has to be based on the facts as presented to us.”

The defender of the bond reviews the case and makes a recommendation based on the evidence. Then all the information returns to the three judges, who review, discuss and make a decision. One of the judges then writes the sentence, a document that includes the facts of the case, the grounds, the judges’ argument based on the evidence, and conclusion. The tribunal tries to provide the sentence within a year from the time of the deposition, Father Rippy said.

Of the 100-plus petitions submitted annually to the diocese, as many as 90 percent are granted, Father Rippy estimated.

Finding healing

While the annulment process is legalistic, unlike divorce, it recognizes the spiritual component as well. “It is truly a healing ministry,” said Father Rippy. “A lot of people are fearful,” and he recognizes that it’s difficult to relive bad memories from the marriage and relationship, but it’s “cathartic in that it allows you to self-empty that stuff again and get rid of it for the final time.”

Closure was why Bill Inserra, a parishioner of St. Francis of Assisi Church in Triangle, petitioned for an annulment. He was shocked when — 23 years into his marriage — he discovered his wife wanted to separate. He prolonged the process of the separation for three and a half years, in hopes that with some time and space his wife would return to the relationship. But the divorce ultimately was finalized, and a month later he began the annulment process.

“My pursuit of the annulment was my attempt at trying to find closure,” he said. He still felt bewildered at why what he considered a happy marriage had ended after more than two decades. “I was really interested in closure and trying to get help from the church.”

In the process, he was permitted to read his ex-wife’s testimony to the tribunal, who had agreed to participate in the process. Her testimony included her view on the marriage, and that provided him some clarity.

“I didn’t get all the answers I was hoping for, but at the end of the day it helped me make my transition,” he said.

The process took about two years, and he received confirmation of the annulment last June. Receiving the news created a mix of feelings.

“I think it was a combination of sadness because something that I thought was one of the happiest experiences of my life” was over. “But there was at the same time … a sense of relief,” he said, adding that he can now begin rebuilding himself and moving forward.

“It was a sad ending; it became a new beginning.”

Moving forward

For Sherrier, after her husband left, she was in “constant turmoil.”

Going through the annulment process, which she began in 2019, has been both painful and healing. “They ask some very specific, personal questions. It was painful to go through that.” Sometimes she had to put the petition aside and step away for a bit. But now, she said, “It helped me to understand why the marriage failed. It’s healing in that I understand now why the marriage didn’t work out.”

She also found support through the Mornings of Mercy for Divorced Catholics, run by the diocesan Office of Marriage, Family and Respect Life. “That’s kind of what helped me and my faith recover from this very traumatic event,” she said.

And she started her own business – St. Anne Companion Care – working with seniors.

“I love working with the elderly,” she said. “I know this is what God wants me to do. I don’t think I ever would have figured that out if I hadn’t gone through divorce.”

“The whole experience has brought me closer to my faith.”

Bartlett can be reached at [email protected].

Find out more

Morning of Mercy for Divorced Couples retreats are scheduled throughout the year. For more details, go to arlingtondiocese.org/morningsofmercy.

For more information on the diocesan tribunal and annulment process, go to arlingtondiocese.org/canonical-affairs-and-tribunal/office-of-the-tribunal.

For information and ministries for adult children of divorced parents, go to arlingtondiocese.org/find-support/ministry-for-adult-children-of-divorce.

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