Back in October, I was at St. William of York in Stafford for a
wedding. I arrived early in order to make a holy hour, something I have done at
this particular church many times as it is my home parish. But even though I’ve
spent a lot of time there, something struck that I had never noticed before.
The crucifix in the church is wooden and not painted. All the
parts of the crucifix — from the cross itself, to the sign over Jesus’ head, to
the body of Our Lord — seem to blend together since they are made of the same
material and color. Unlike many crucifixes where the body leans away from the
cross, the body of Our Lord on this crucifix is entirely connected to the cross
at every single point. As I was looking at this cross, it hit me that this
sculpting wasn’t accidental, but rather was designed to teach something
beautiful about the faith. Our Lord embraced his cross completely. He didn’t
pull away, but rather embraced every square inch.
At the wedding Mass, the homily spoke of how the goal of each
individual’s life is to spend eternity in heaven in union with the trinity. The
celebrant mentioned how we can only enter heaven when have been perfected in
charity. He said we are perfected in charity by means of our vocation. It was
at this point that my prayer while looking at the cross took on an even deeper
meaning.
Every vocation has its unique cross. This cross will be heavy.
There will be times where the pain will be excruciating. But it is for this
reason, for this cross, that each of us is called to a particular vocation. I
used to think that it was the beauty of the individual vocation to which we
were called, but I always found this personally confusing. After all, I always have
been greatly attracted to both the beauty of marriage and the beauty of the
priesthood. But the beauty of one’s vocation exists in order to give us the
strength to pick up that vocation’s cross. It is the cross to which we are
called, the cross that perfects us.
As I progress through Theology II here at seminary, and pray
about my vocation in a concentrated way, my October prayer about the cross
comes back to me time and time again. As my discernment continues, it has
brought me great peace to realize that I am attracted not only to the beauty of
the priesthood, but more importantly, to the cross that comes with it. Like Our
Lord on that crucifix, I desire to completely embrace the cross that lies in
store for me, not pulling away from it even an inch. After all, it will only be
through this cross that I may be made perfect in charity and one day enter into
eternal life.
Reuwer, who is from St. William of York Parish in
Stafford, is in his second year of theology
at St. Charles Borromeo Seminary in Wynnewood, Pa.