Local

Put Christ on your guest list

Katie Scott | Catholic Herald

Melanie Cameron, a parishioner of St. Leo the Great Church in Fairfax, shows off one of the wedding dresses she sells at St. Anthony’s Bridal in Bethesda. Cameron is president of the nonprofit, which carries everything from vintage to Vera Wang — all for $150.

1409773563_dfbe.jpg

You’re engaged! Hooray! You call family and friends, snap
photos of the sparkly symbol of love on your hand, and maybe
update your Facebook status.

But then, at some point, the stress hits you like a 10-pound
wedding cake.

There’s the guest list to tighten, overbearing relatives to
navigate, dates to pin down, budgets to meet and a gazillion
little decisions to make.

Melanie Cameron, a parishioner of St. Leo the Great Church in
Fairfax, is trying to lift some of those wedding-planning
burdens off brides, shift the focus to the sacramental nature
of marriage and draw couples closer to God and each other.

With a book, bridal store and wedding-planning ministry, she
hopes “to renew the dignity of marriage and the engagement
period.”

Cameron, 33, was inspired to rethink the wedding-planning
process after becoming engaged to Mark in May 2006.

Moments after Mark popped the question, Cameron felt stress
creeping into her joy. She worried about finances and all the
details a wedding entailed.

She came to realize, though, that when she reached out to
Mark to share in decision-making, it not only alleviated
stress but it also helped them grow in unity.

“While I saw the wedding planning culture tends to isolate
brides, putting them on a pedestal of exorbitant must-have’s
and etiquette must-do’s,” said Cameron, “I felt the Spirit
drawing me to my future spouse, to draw closer to him in
unity by including him in the reception detail decisions,
prayerfully discerning even the small stuff.”

Following their April 2007 wedding, this knowledge – coupled
with St. John Paul II’s call for greater awareness of the
dignity of the engagement period – inspired her and her
husband to co-write and self-publish Christ on Your Guest
List
, what Cameron calls a “wedding planner with a
Catholic twist.”

She also saw a gap to be filled. “There are maybe one or two
other Catholic wedding planners but not many,” she said.

The three goals of the book are to cultivate unity between
the couple; encourage them to share their preferences in
order to discern the call to marry; and to foster
decision-making to help them better discern that call.

The book covers all the big-day details, from photography to
gifts, and offers practical, faith-based suggestions on how
to make decisions with your would-be spouse.

The planner begins immediately following the proposal. There
are worksheets throughout the book, with one entitled
“Spiritual Habits” that asks the couple to consider ways to
deepen their faith.

In the section on budgeting, Cameron and her husband
encourage couples to think about putting some of the money
they could spend on fancy flowers or elaborate wedding favors
into a charity or savings account.

According to a study released this year by the
wedding-planning website TheKnot.com, newlyweds or their
families shelled out an average of nearly $30,000 for
weddings in 2013, the most ever.

Cameron said she wants couples to base their budgets not on
the maximum they can afford or how much their families are
willing to contribute but on their values.

“Think about what is a modest amount,” she said.

There’s a chapter on etiquette and the difference between
tradition, myth and common practice. “You might want to toss
the bouquet, but you don’t have to,” said Cameron, adding
that “not all traditions lift up the sacrament.”

“The book talks about priorities,” she said. “Concerns about
money and etiquette tend to drive division. But if you put
Christ at the center, you can make the decision process
itself an opportunity to grow more united, even decisions
like deciding if the tablecloths should be green or white.”

Father Stefan P. Starzynski, parochial vicar of St. Timothy
Church in Chantilly, distributed 25 copies of Christ on
Your Guest List
to couples in his pre-Cana classes. He
believes the book is a great reminder that “the marriage
ceremony is a day, but a marriage is a lifetime.”

Beauty on a budget

A few years after she married, Cameron stumbled upon a
brick-and-mortar manifestation of her wedding-planning
values.

St. Anthony’s Bridal is a nonprofit in Bethesda that helps
brides on a budget. Started eight years ago, the store sells
bridal gowns for $150, along with bridesmaid dresses and
wedding accessories.

Cameron began volunteering there and eventually was named
president.

“I love the bridal center,” she said. “When a bride comes in
and sees a nonprofit that’s helping her, she often has tears
of joy. They can’t believe someone is helping, that the
dresses are beautiful and they don’t need to spend
$20,000-30,000 dollars to have a wedding.”

The store has a wide selection, with donations coming from
throughout the United States. Some dresses come from Canada
and Paris. “Vintage to Vera Wang, clearance to couture, we
have it all,” said Cameron.

It also offers brides on a tight budget free use of
decoration items and recommends wedding vendors who support
the mission of the store.

Open Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon, the store is “on a path
for growth,” Cameron said. She hopes to relocate the store to
Virginia by the end of the year and significantly expand its
hours. Right now she’s searching for the right space.

In the Virginia store, the plan is to offer do-it-yourself
workshops and classes for brides on every aspect of wedding
reception planning.

St. Anthony’s Bridal has worked with the Arlington diocesan
Spanish Apostolate, Office for Family Life and Gabriel
Project to help provide dresses for a number of brides, some
of whom are pregnant and want to get married but don’t have
the means to do so.

Cameron also has her own ministry that offers additional
services to brides and grooms. She makes floral arrangements
through Mystical Rose Flowers and is a resource for couples
planning a wedding ceremony and reception on a budget of
$3,000 or less.

The mother of four sees her various projects as complementary
efforts to “help couples to grow in faith, the sacraments and
unity,” she said. “That’s really where my heart is.”

Cameron moves the attention to what matters most, said Father
Starzynski. “We all know that Christ should be at the center
of everything,” he said, “but we all need reminders.”

Find out more

Christ on Your Guest List is available at amazon.com. Also look
for “Christ on Your Guest List” on Facebook.

For more information about St. Anthony’s Bridal, check out
the website.

For Melanie Cameron’s Catholic wedding resource website, go
here.

Related Articles