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Called to serve

Gretchen R. Crowe | Catholic Herald

Deacon Tom Bello of St. James Church in Falls Church participates in a diaconate installation at the Cathedral of St. Thomas More in Arlington last month.

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It seems like there’s nothing Deacon Tom Bello doesn’t do.

During the week, he’s a teacher of English to immigrants and
refugees at a multicultural center in Falls Church. On the
weekends, and in his “spare” weekday time, he’s a servant to
the clergy and parishioners of the St. James Parish
community. Once a month he preaches. He presides over
baptisms and weddings. He distributes Communion to the sick
and homebound. He serves food at Christ House, teaches a
Scripture study class and ministers to prisoners at the
Alexandria Detention Center.

Now in his 22nd year of his diaconate ordination – the last19
spent at St. James – Bello can succinctly sum up his life so
far in three words: service, nonviolence and education.

A Tar Heel born and bred

Bello hails from North Carolina: Durham-born, Raleigh-raised
and Chapel Hill-educated. His father was a native of New
York, and his grandparents were Italian immigrants – likely
the reason Bello, who received a full ride as an
undergraduate and has three master’s degrees – has dedicated
so much of his life to working with those assimilating to
life in the United States.

“I love being with these people,” he said. “Those were my
grandparents.”

A double major in English and history at UNC-Chapel Hill,
Bello also focused on religion and psychology. During his
undergraduate years, he served as student body president,
following in his father’s (a student body president at Duke
University) footsteps. His time in office was filled with the
student protests and activism of the late 1960s, and
overlapped with the shootings at Kent State University in
Ohio in 1970. After a night praying at the university’s
Newman Center, Bello gave a speech saying that the student
protests in Chapel Hill should remain nonviolent. And they
did.

“We kept things peaceful,” he said. “There was no violence.”

This was a formative moment for Bello, who would grasp this
idea of nonviolence and carry its lessons with him throughout
his life.

Finding a calling

After earning a master’s in history from Oxford University in
England, Bello married his wife, Judy, and moved to Northern
Virginia in 1975.

Though his younger years weren’t the holiest he’s ever lived,
Bello said the track of his life was altered with the birth
of his first son, Yates, and the promise he made to a priest
friend to make a sincere effort to raise him in the Catholic
faith. That pact got Bello on the path to aligning himself
with God’s will.

“When you’re a child, it’s really your parents’ faith. It’s
not really earned yet,” he said. “When you’re married and you
have a child, that’s really a wake-up call. It was for me
anyway.”

Drawn to St. Francis by his devotion to service and
nonviolence, Bello joined the Secular Franciscans.

And, while attending the Cathedral of St. Thomas More in
Arlington with his family, he was encouraged to apply to the
permanent diaconate program.

Bello’s response: “What’s a deacon?”

After time for prayer and discernment – and spiritual nudging
from his nonviolent favorite St. Francis – Bello, then 37,
was ordained a permanent deacon in May 1987.

He earned yet another master’s degree, this time in Christian
spirituality – and the one he said he has used the most –
from Notre Dame Pontifical Academy. He served as a deacon at
the cathedral from 1987-90 and then at St. James for the last
19 years.

“Service has always been a mantra to me,” Bello said. “It’s
always been so important to try to help. That desire to
serve, I think, is at the very basis of what my Christianity
means to me.”

In the classroom

At the same time Bello was discerning how he would serve in
his faith life, Bello began volunteering with immigrants and
refugees from Asia and Central America. Feeling like he’d
found a calling, he earned a master’s in linguistics from
George Mason University in Fairfax and became a full-time
adult education teacher.

For years he has taught a split shift – catering to the
students – in the mornings and the evenings. The curriculum
is learner-centered, meaning whatever the immigrants or
refugees need the most – be it reading, writing, speaking or
listening – is the focus.

Though in his public school environment, Bello must, to some
extent, hang his deacon hat at the door, he still is able to
minister just by being himself.

“There’s a lot that you can do and show you are a Christian
by your example,” he said. “I’ve had a lot of ministry
outside the classroom.”

And he truly believes he’s been called – right down to
believing he witnessed Jesus motioning toward him in his
sleep when he was still a boy growing up in North Carolina.

“I always could picture that moment in my mind,” Bello said.
“I really think He’s always been back there, kind of nudging
me forward, step by step.”

He considers his ability to serve a true gift from God.

“I really wake up everyday happy to have another day of life,
happy to serve,” he said. “I really love what I’m doing. I’m
never good enough. I’m always failing. But I love to try.”

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