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Praying for the dead, with St. Joseph Church Parish Purgatorial Prayer Society

Leslie Miller | Catholic Herald Staff Writer

Bob Grillo with his three daughters (from left to right) Amy Kales, Toni Kellinger and Teresa Whitmore. GRILLO FAMILY | COURTESY

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Bob Grillo uses his cellphone to recite St. Gertrude the Great’s prayer for the souls in purgatory. GRILLO FAMILY | COURTESY

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Front cover of the book “Day by Day for the Holy Souls in Purgatory,” by Susan Tassone. COURTESY | OUR SUNDAY VISITOR

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Purgatory depicted on a stained glass window. ADOBESTOCK

Purgatory stained glass for GRILLO AdobeStock_167289553_Preview.jpeg

Bob Grillo is a cradle Catholic from the Bronx, N.Y., who worked as
a Navy contractor, raised three daughters and taught catechism for 50 years.

But as he approaches his 90th birthday April 20, the Korean War
veteran and avid Yankees fan has become increasingly consumed with the plight
of the suffering souls in purgatory.  He’s
made it his mission to pray for them, and to urge others to do the same.  

“They are the forgotten church,” Grillo said in telephone interview
from his home in Sterling Park, where he lives independently with assistance
from his daughters and a part-time housekeeper. His wife of 51 years, Jane,
died in 2009. 

“They’ve passed away, but nobody ever really dies,” Grillo added.
“The soul lives on and goes to purgatory for the purification process. They’re
not dead, they’re waiting for help.”

Grillo’s singular focus on purgatory began at a retreat he
attended in 2018. He was given a book of reflections and prayers called “Day by
Day for the Holy Souls in Purgatory” (Our Sunday Visitor, 2014) by Susan
Tassone, a nationally known writer and speaker on the Catholic Church’s
teachings on purgatory and the importance of praying for the dead. 

“We on earth — through our prayers, sufferings, sacrifices
and acts of kindness offered to God on behalf of those souls — can help speed
them on their way home,” Tassone writes in the book’s introduction.

Grillo convinced a few of his fellow parishioners at St. Joseph
Church in Herndon to join him for a monthly prayer group focused on praying for
the dead. That includes recently deceased parish members, friends and loved
ones, as well as those they didn’t know personally but know about — such as the
growing number of people around the world who have died from the new
coronavirus, COVID-19. 

Grillo noted that Catholics don’t seem to talk about purgatory
much these days: “We call it the Church Forgotten,” he added. Some also call
the souls in purgatory the Church Penitent, while those alive on earth are
known as the Church Militant, and those in heaven are the Church Triumphant. 

At St. Joseph Church in Herndon, the souls in purgatory assuredly
are not forgotten, thanks to Grillo’s Parish Purgatorial Prayer Society, or P3S,
started in 2018.

“It started with about five active members at that first meeting
back in 2018 and we’re now rolling with a solid 20 members, all committed to
daily prayer for those souls in need,” said Jack McNulty, who met Grillo at St.
Joseph — only to discover that Grillo had gone to Cardinal Hayes High School in
the Bronx with McNulty’s dad.  

McNulty has been helping Grillo with technical and administrative
aspects of the monthly prayer meetings — including setting up an online prayer
group via the videoconferencing program Zoom for the April 9 meeting so the
group can continue to pray together without leaving home during the coronavirus
crisis. 

Meetings often include the Prayer of St. Gertrude the Great, who
had a special devotion for souls in purgatory; the Divine Mercy Chaplet;
readings from books of purgatorial reflections, such as “Day by Day for the
Holy Souls in Purgatory”; several minutes of silent reflection, and sharing by
group members of the names of beloved souls and a Hail Mary recited for each
one.

McNulty can’t say enough about his admiration for Grillo, who he
describes as “so resilient and so faithful.” 

This isn’t the first parish prayer group that Grillo has started,
McNulty said. In 1982, Grillo was moved to create a Nocturnal Adoration
Society, whose members would sign up for shifts in overnight eucharistic adoration
to respond to Jesus’ words to his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane, “Can
you not watch one hour with me?”  

The church’s pastor at the time didn’t think Grillo would find
enough parishioners willing to sign up, but he persisted — and the parish’s
Nocturnal Adoration Society is still going strong after 38 years, McNulty said.

Grillo simply said that when an idea seems important to him, he
feels an obligation to pursue it, especially when it comes to showing the
selfless love of praying for souls in purgatory, known and unknown. But it’s
not all completely selfless, he admits. 

“Someday when I am out of here, I hope people will pray for me.”

Find out more

For more information about the Parish Purgatorial Prayer Society at
St. Joseph Church, or for an invitation to join the next prayer group meeting
via Zoom, please email [email protected].

 

 

 

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