I can still feel the thick plastic cover over the checkered
tablecloths under my fingers, still smell the faint aroma of almond extract
mixed with something like mothballs in my nose.
The week leading up to Christmas was the same every year of my
childhood. In less than 24 hours, my brother and I made the rounds with my
parents to the kitchen tables of every living great-aunt and great-uncle we had
in New Jersey, and to the homes of a few "paisanos," who I later
learned were not actually of any blood relation to us.
I remember looking forward to the annual tradition. As soon as we
stepped into each successive house, a fresh plate of cookies was placed on the
table. I will never forget the anticipation of my mother lifting the standard
limit on sweets for a whole day.
Looking back now, I appreciate so much more. It was a dedicated
time that my parents set aside for us to learn about our family's history. It
shaped our own sense of identity and what we learned to value as adults.
My relatives would laugh so hard with one another, reminiscing
about their own youth. We still tell some of the stories that we heard around
those tables, as if we had witnessed the events firsthand.
Looking at the ways in which the church can hear the voices of
young people has been the primary focus of this column — but it also worthwhile
to turn that question on its head. One such way is through a promotion of
intergenerational solidarity. It's a challenging message for a culture that
idolizes youth, and one in which older family members often live independently
or in the care of people outside of a family.
One of Pope Francis' favorite messages to young people has been
to remember the elderly, to draw near to them and to learn from them. Earlier
this year, Pope Francis pleaded with young people not to keep the elderly
"in the closet" and encouraged them to foster intergenerational
dialogue and relationships.
It's for this reason that Pope Francis has very often stressed
the importance of grandparents — "Your grandparents have the wisdom, and
furthermore, they have the need for you to knock on the door of their hearts to
share their wisdom," he said this September to the Shalom Catholic
Community. He himself keeps a note from his grandmother in his breviary that he
uses every day.
Yet the pope also has said that young people should go out of
their way to encounter and welcome the elderly who are not their family
members. This will require proactive measures on our part, perhaps requiring us
to go to the peripheries of our churches and communities to find them.
We should also ask our priests and pastoral staff where we can
find them. Too often they go unnoticed but are beckoning for company and
community.
It will certainly require more listening than it does talking. It
may involve awkward silences and patience and walking a little bit slower than
usual. But isn't the whole point of accompaniment to share in someone else's
journey, no matter its current direction or pace?
Pope Francis has reminded us that "the church regards the
elderly with affection, gratitude and high esteem. They are an essential part
of the Christian community and of society."
As the 2018 synod on vocational discernment aims to put the
realities of young people front and center for the church, we'd also be wise to
heed the wisdom of those who have prepared the way ahead of us.
Italiano is executive director at communications for The
Catholic University of America.