Maybe you’re losing sleep over it. Or there’s a nagging
feeling in the back of your mind every time you watch “The
Sound of Music.” Or perhaps you simply feel called to live
out your faith in a deeper way and are curious about what
life is like for those women in habits and how you could fit
in.
No matter what the reason, you’re thinking about the
religious life. What now? When faced with making a decision
about one’s vocation, the process can seem overwhelming and
even a little scary.
Sister Margaret Michael Gillis is the national vocation
director for the Daughters of St. Paul. She knows firsthand
how difficult discernment can be.
“To come to that point where somebody admits or acknowledges
that they’re discerning, that takes courage,” she said.
The only answer, she suggests, is to bind yourself to God and
His will for your life.
“Sometimes we get overwhelmed trying to figure out where
we’re supposed to go and what we’re supposed to do,” she
said. “I always think of something a sister told me many
years ago – Jesus said He is the Way. If we cling to Him, He
who is the Way, we’re going to know exactly what we need to
do and where we need to go.”
Prayer is paramount
Although the discernment process is different for everyone,
there are a few necessary steps, according to Father Brian G.
Bashista, director of the diocesan Office of Vocations. The
most valuable ingredient in a healthy discernment process is
prayer, he said.
“Prayer is absolutely paramount,” he said. “One will never
discover a vocation in Christ if they’re not talking to Him
daily and frequenting the sacraments.”
Sister Mary Emily Knapp, director of vocations for the
Nashville Dominicans, suggested women in discernment
participate in the sacraments, frequent Holy Hour and
eucharistic adoration, and spend time reading the Gospel and
praying the rosary. She also suggested working with a
spiritual director and getting involved in the local Church,
especially young adult communities.
“(Women in discernment) should be tapped into the enthusiasm
and vitality of other young people seeking holiness,” Sister
Mary Emily said. “Be with other young people who are also
striving for holiness so you can have support for your
vocation. You can’t do this alone.”
Reaching out
After prayer, reach out to religious orders to get to know
them and their ministries.
“I don’t think you’ll ever know this life unless you
experience it for yourself,” said Sister Mary Emily. “Young
women love hearing our stories – ‘How did you know you were
being called?’ We want to share our stories freely with them
because we love our life and we want to share that.”
One way to get to know religious orders is to participate in
activities planned by the Office of Vocations. Yearly events
include Fiat Days for high school students, a women’s
vocational weekend retreat and a “Nun Run” – a day for women
aged 17 and older to visit local convents.
When a woman is seriously discerning, office administrative
assistant Celia Schmitt will invite her to a monthly women’s
discernment group. Schmitt said between four and eight women
attend the monthly meetings. In the past five years, 18 women
have entered religious orders through the group. This fall
alone, four women will enter orders.
Many religious orders hold retreats for women in discern
ment. The Daughters of St. Paul hold weekend retreats as well
as a monthly discernment mini-course at their center in
Alexandria. The Nashville Dominicans hold four retreats a
year – two entirely focused on vocations.
When visiting religious orders, it’s important to keep things
in perspective, said Sister Margaret Michael. Finding an
order should be different than choosing a college or a job,
she said.
“There can be a little bit of a risk there because you need
to remember, it’s not about ‘me making a decision.’ It’s
really about God’s will,” she said.
It’s also important to remember the discernment process is
not one-sided.
“While (women) are looking at a community to see if it’s a
good fit, the religious community is looking at the young
women to see if they can detect traces of the charism in
her,” Sister Margaret Michael said. “It’s really a mutual
looking and it should be done both respectfully and in a
mature way.”
“As we speak with these young women, we’re discerning with
them and with the Church, helping them to know how God is
calling them,” said Sister Mary Emily. “We say that God has a
specific plan for each one of their lives and we’re helping
them to discover that – how they can best become the young
woman God is calling them to be.”
Be not afraid
Lastly, after spending time in prayer and learning about
various orders, a woman in discernment needs to place her
complete trust in God.
“Trust that God speaks through your feelings and
experiences,” said Sister Vicki Ix, vocations director for
the Benedictine Sisters of Virginia. “Trust that God wants to
bless your life. And, when clarity comes, don’t be afraid to
embrace the gift.”
As difficult as it may seem, women need to prepare themselves
to surrender their plans and aspirations and really give
their lives over to God.
“Be ready, if He invites you, to give everything to the
religious life,” Sister Mary Emily said. “Because a vocation
is kind of beyond us, it’s a supernatural calling. It’s not
of us, it’s of God.
“Most religious sisters would have never in a million years
imagined themselves in this life, but as we disposed
ourselves to Him, He revealed the invitation to us,” she
said. “It’s nothing we could have created. It’s a gift He has
given to us and we responded.”
Taking the leap
One woman preparing to enter a religious order next month is
Sarah Richardson. For the past five years, Richardson has
worked as an administrative assistant for the diocesan Office
of Youth Ministry. This fall, she will join the Visitation
Sisters of Georgetown as a pre-postulant.
For Richardson, the decision has been a long time coming. She
has been actively discerning since college. After becoming
involved with the women’s vocation group, she visited the
Georgetown monastery and felt instantly at home. She began
learning about the community and joining them for prayers.
“I went on a 10-day retreat in February in Georgetown and it
was just like falling in love,” she said. “It felt like
something just resonated that hadn’t before or with other
communities. I felt like I belonged there.”
In August, Richardson will move into the monastery. She will
spend her first few months working at Georgetown Visitation
School to pay off some of her debts. From there, she will be
considered for the next step – six to 12 months as a
postulant. If she discerns God is calling her to the order,
she will spend two years as a novice and another three years
before taking her final vows.
She was drawn to the Visitation Sisters because of their
charism of gentleness and humility. Richardson said she’s
humbled by the ways the sisters put each other before
themselves. It’s a behavior she hopes to exhibit herself one
day.
“I’m looking forward to learning more about what it means to
live in a community in relation to others and the sacrificial
love that community draws forth from us,” she said. “My hope
is that He will give me the strength to persevere all the way
to final vows, but right now He’s just asking me to try to
step out in faith and give it everything I am.”
Rebecca LaFever, a project manager for the Office of
Informational Services at the Chancery for the past four
years, left her post to enter the Franciscan Sisters of the
Eucharist this summer.
She first met religious sisters after coming to work at the
Chancery and befriending Franciscan Sister of the Eucharist
Clare Hunter, director of the diocesan Respect Life office.
As she was going through the discernment process, LaFever
took part in the women’s discernment group, spent time with
the Franciscan Sisters of the Eucharist once a month and met
with a spiritual director.
After attending an “amazing” weekend retreat at the
Franciscan Sister’s motherhouse in Meridan, Conn., LaFever
decided to enter the order.
One of the things that drew her to the Franciscans is their
professional focus – the sisters work in various fields,
always with the goal of affirming the dignity of the human
person.
She will enter the order in August as a pre-postulant. If she
and the order mutually decide she is a good fit, the total
amount of time before she can take final vows will be between
six and nine years.
Like Richardson, LaFever is looking forward to living in a
community of faith.
“The motherhouse is really where the source of the community
is, where all the sisters go through – where formation for
the community happens and where you’re most connected in the
prayer life, the work schedule, chores shared very
intentionally on Saturday mornings, eating together,” she
said. “I’m looking forward to being embraced by and
surrounded by the heart of the community.”
Responding to a call
No matter what stage of the process, discernment should be
thought of as responding to a call. Instead of focusing on
what one would be giving up – marriage and motherhood, for
example – a woman should focus on what she could gain – a
deeper and more intimate relationship with God.
“Discernment is less complicated that it sounds,” said Sister
Vicki. “It is choosing between two or more goods in an effort
to align your life with God’s will. Specific to vocations, it
can be a bit more complex, but God’s grace is always
sufficient to the task before us.”
“God wants us to be happy and the Lord who made us and made
our hearts knows what can bring us to the greatest
happiness,” said Sister Margaret Michael. “Really living and
discovering our vocation should bring us to our greatest joy,
so I would encourage women to really look and see what His
will for them is. Whether it’s marriage, single life or
religious life, God has our greatest happiness at heart, so
we don’t have to be afraid.”
Find out more
Contact the Office of Vocations at 703/841-2514 or
[email protected].
