The other day, as I was sorting through a pile of college memorabilia, I found a card from a florist: Hang in there! October doesn’t last forever. Love, Beth.
We were a pair that year — Beth and Elizabeth — completely over our heads in extracurricular activities and leadership opportunities. This card was probably the first time another woman spoke into the paradox of autumn for me.
Late September and early October comprise the glorious season. The air is cooler and crisper. Humidity gives way to a hint of briskness. Leaves start to glow gold and red but don’t quite fall from the trees. An invitation is extended: Breathe deeply and exhale with relaxed pleasure.
Unless, of course, you’re overwhelmed. Unless all the promise of the new school year inspired you to set lofty goals for yourself and your family, and now you’re darting frantically from one good idea to the next, feeling utterly inundated. Unless you are like almost every woman I know in October.
We are blanketed by that heaviness of feeling overwhelmed. But why? If we were to lift the corner of the blanket and look underneath it, what other emotion would we find there?
Perhaps it’s anxiety. Can I do all the things I’ve promised to do; is it even possible? What will happen when they find out I can’t?
Perhaps it’s shame. I know that people depend on me, and I know that I will let them down. I’m ashamed that they will know that I could not rise to the challenge.
Whatever the emotion beneath the blanket of overwhelmed-ness, it’s time to peel the corner all the way back. Only when we identify what’s under it can we ask ourselves some good questions and begin to sort through what lies there, creating a suffocating blanket. Don’t be afraid to take a good look at what’s beneath the blanket. The Lord invites us to see what the weakness is so he can reveal his strength.
If you’re worried you can’t do it, he asks you if it’s actually possible that you can. He prompts you to remember that you definitely can if only you remember to ask for help. He allows you to recount all the times previously that you have succeeded by the grace of God. He reveals to you a different thought: You can do this. And I will help you.
If you know that you’ve committed to something that is beyond your capacity and that you will have to admit your weak spots, he tells you that he is there with you and he will give you the strength to do what is necessary. He will show you that shame is never a valuable motivator. He will invite you to consider the possibility that in your humility, you offer someone else an opportunity to collaborate and to use her gifts. You open up the possibility for you both to be a part of his creative plan.
October is for sending friends autumn bouquets encouraging them to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to re-prioritize, to revisit Our Lord’s inspiration and to ask for clarification as we set about to do his will. It’s for being brave enough to stop sighing and declaring that we’re overwhelmed, and to actually lift the blanket and see why. It’s for taking an honest look at all the places where our own strength is insufficient. It’s for allowing the emotion that comes with that insufficiency and using it to propel us toward admitting it. It’s for recognizing the people the Lord provides to meet us where we are and accompany us to where he wants us to be. And it’s for being receptive to the grace that comes when we trust God to extend to us his power, made perfect in our own weakness.
Foss, whose website is takeupandread.org, writes from Connecticut.
