Jessica was never comfortable with abortion, but now had cause to consider getting one. During her 10th week of pregnancy, the baby boy she was carrying had more than a 95 percent chance of having Down syndrome, according to a blood test.
She had been excited to bring another child into her family and for her daughter to have a sibling. But as a single parent, she feared the consequences of the diagnosis, and she seriously considered terminating her pregnancy. Sadly, 67 percent of women facing the same diagnosis opt for abortion, according to an article in Prenatal Diagnosis.
Jessica decided to carry her pregnancy to term, and that adoption was likely the best option for her. She still suffered grief and frustration with the baby’s diagnosis. A pregnancy counselor at Catholic Charities helped her work through those emotions.
“I knew that God had something special planned, and I also knew that I wasn’t the right mama for him,” Jessica said. “And knowing those two things meant that I had to find the right family for him.”
When Matt and Ally began their adoption journey, they agreed they would “be open to any child and happily accept whoever God brought to us.” After they heard that an expectant parent was seeking an adoptive family for a special needs baby, they were eager to be considered.
“Although we didn’t know a lot about Down syndrome, we asked ourselves why we wouldn’t say ‘yes,’ ” Ally said. “As time went on, we had many conversations about what this could mean for our family, what long-term care would look like, what the child’s specific needs would be and how this would change our family. Every time those fears would creep in, God would bring us peace.”
Matt and Ally were exactly what Jessica hoped for in an adoptive family.
“After I met his parents, I felt such a sense of peace,” she said. “I had prayed for a very specific family, and God provided.”
While carrying the baby and planning to place him for adoption were never easy, Jessica was grateful for Catholic Charities’ support and accompaniment throughout the process. Now she has an open relationship with her birth son and his adoptive family, and remains confident in her decision.
“I was meant to have him so that they could be his family,” she said. “I was just the lucky one who got to carry him and love him and give him this wonderful family. I know that I played a role in God’s plan for his life. Both my daughter and I enjoy spending time with them and getting to watch him grow.”
Ally and Matt also feel great joy and wonder at how God’s plans for their family unfolded.
“Down syndrome is not a clear-cut diagnosis, and our son surprises us every day,” said Ally. “While every child is a blessing, there is something extra special seeing a child with special needs reach milestones or achieve more than you were told is possible. It is a constant reminder of God’s goodness and grace towards us.”
The adoption was a leap of faith for their family, and one that Ally and Matt are glad they took. “Saying ‘yes’ to our son is the best decision we have ever made,” Ally said. “He is the sweetest, most delightful person we could’ve imagined.”
Catholic Charities has encountered more pregnant women facing a similar prenatal diagnosis and seeking services, and an increased need for families open to adopting medically complex children. Catholic Charities is especially equipped to respond to these needs. Families of faith are more than twice as likely to adopt a child with special needs than other adoptive families, according to a survey by the Barna Group, a public opinion research firm headquartered in Texas.
Creating a pathway for families to say “yes” in this way is an authentically pro-life response.
“Children with special needs are a true gift that our current culture is choosing to throw away,” Ally said. “If you are in a position where you are considering adoption, please consider these children, too. There is such joy in embracing a child who reflects our Creator in such a unique way.”
Lane is program director for pregnancy and adoption support for diocesan Catholic Charities.
Learn more
November is National Adoption Month. For those interested in special needs adoption, go to ccda.net/need-help/pregnancy-and-adoption/adopt-a-child/.
